Casual Heroing

Chapter 67: Halves

Camilla is jumping up and down, a ball of tightly packed, pinkish energy.

So, how long are you chewing on those leaves?

Huh? I look at her, confused.

How long are you going to be tight-lipped, Joey, Flaminia translates the Elven saying.

Ha, damn Elves and their weird sayings, I chuckle.

Come on, Camilla prods my side with a finger and makes me jump.

Yo! Dont do that! Im ticklish! I scream.

Are you? the short Elf looks at me with a devilish grin.

Dont you dare! I start running around the place with her immediately in tow.

Lucillus! Stab her! Do something! This is an assault! Protect me! Im running around the unadorned tables that the previous owner left here, trying to lose the short imp.

We dont have a contract yet, and I heard that my rates are not going to be that good, the man chuckles at my plight.

Flaminia! I plead while running to her and hiding behind her.

Come on, Camilla, stop that, we wouldnt want

Flaminia suddenly turns and shouts to Lucillus: Catch him!

HUH!?

Lucillus is suddenly behind me and hes holding me in place.

Goddamn, this Elf is strong!

Release me! This is torture! Abuse! Help! Im being assaulHAAAA!

Camilla catches up to me and starts tickling me.

So, Joey, whats up with Lucinda?

HAAAAA!

She stops for a second, giving me room to breathe. Im all red and panting, shivering in place.

You demons! Im not sayingHAAAAA!

The tickling torture continues.

Now, you might think this is a pleasurable experience because my executioner is a cute Elf with pinkish hair. Well, think again.

I loathe tickling.

Among the many things that I wouldnt mind done to me, tickling is not one. Id rather spend a month in France than being tickled for five minutes. Im simply too sensitive, what can I say?

So, ready to talk, Human? Camilla looks at me with her evil, impish grin.

Ill talk! Ill talk! I plead.

Lucillus, please, release him, Flaminia asks my bodyguard.

You traitor, I tell him with narrowed eyes.

So? Camilla slowly hunches forward with her hands fingering the air.

Im talking! Im talking! Take your filthy tickle hands off me!

We are done with cleaning up the place, and I was going to tell them about the first recipe, but it appears that it will have to wait.

Well, its complicated, I tell the three around me.

Lucinda and I shared a kiss, or two. We didnt talk about it before we could do that, I got mugged. When I was at the Watchs Infirmary, I got interrogated by Captain Drusillus. I may have revealed about the kiss and the Captain made fun of Lucinda for it. Then, I tried to act casual and just tell her that

The rose, Lucillus coughed.

Yeah, well. I might have gone to her place with some flowers. When she didnt accept them, I made a rose out of a [Light] spell.

Oh, shoot.

I shouldnt have said the last part.

Well, that should have impressed her. I believe its very hard to do something like that, isnt it? Flaminia looks at me with her eyebrows furrowed.

Camilla is simply silent, pondering.

Yeah, I thought I had her. But then, we did the arbiter thing and here we are. Thats pretty much it.

The two women exchange a look while Lucillus simply stands like a statue.

The poor man has no feminine wit.

Didnt you say she was an asshole? Camilla asks me.

Oh, right. When she came over to my place, she apologized for the comments she made about the homeless people. But that could have been because she wanted to learn some magic from me.

I shortly recount the story of Stan to Flaminia and Lucillus.

The biggest magical talent in all Amorium, possibly the whole region, comes to you to learn something about magic, Joey?

Flaminia is skeptical.

Yeah, sounds mad, doesnt it?

You are redefining mad as a word, Luciani, Flaminia looks at me and laughs out loud.

Well, anyway, thats done. She clearly doesnt want anything else to do with me.

Yeah, as if, Camilla snorts, exchanging another understanding look with Flaminia.

Huh?

What is she saying?

Lucinda is very interested in you, Joey. If she wasnt, she wouldnt have reacted like that. Shes probably going to come to you much earlier than you would think.

Do her good, Camilla snorts.

Camilla! I look at her with an outraged face.

Shes got a thing for you, for all the large trees, Flaminia shakes her head. How did you do that?

Did what?! She walked out on me! I dont understand. Im pretty sure I have a good understanding of women.

Flaminia gestures to me while looking at Camilla, basically saying look at that, can you believe this guy?

Camilla nods patronizingly, basically saying yeah, hes an idiot, how did he manage that?

Im not understanding, Lucillus looks at the two women.

Lucinda is mad in love with him and shes feeling vulnerable, Camilla explains, she went away because Joey clearly made a big impression. Shes afraid shes falling, or maybe getting too tangled up with feelings for him.

What? Really? Lucillus looks at me with an eyebrow raised. Shes falling for him?

Oh, wow, thanks for the vote of confidence, pal!

Joey, Camilla ignores Lucillus, just wait. Shell come around. Trust me.

I mean, its not like I have any other choice. After such a reaction, it would definitely feel wrong to keep at it, wouldnt it?

Can you explain to me, though, why do you like her so much? She really doesnt look like your type, Camilla adds.

Why do I like her?

Shes hot, obviously, I laugh. However, my spectators are not impressed with my answer. She looks perfect. II dont know. Sometimes you look at someone and you suddenly want to marry them, dont you? No? Well, thats me then. Ive never felt it as much as I do with Lucinda. Shes just special. Theres this weird chemistry between us. Even if we belong to different worlds, it seems like theres one special bridge connecting us. And I love how she eats like a barbarian monk starved for a week, how she looks at me with mischief in her eyes, and how she can talk for hours on end about magic. Its cool. I love it. I love her?

Everyone widens their eyes at my words.

Theres this guy where I come from. I mean, hes dead now. Hes been dead for a while, to be honest. But, he was a [Philosopher]? Yeah? Yeah. And he said this thing

Love is born into every human being; it calls back the halves of our original nature together; it tries to make one out of two and heal the wound of human nature. Each of us, then, is a matching half of a human whole and each of us is always seeking the half that matches him.

I think she might be my matching half, thats all.

I shrink in the chair, looking dejectedly to the table.

Lucillus, are you crying? Flaminias voice reaches my hear.