Code Zulu Alpha: Nerd in the Apocalypse!

Chapter 1006 False-Slash - Snipped?

To be completely honest, these guys weren't that far off from what to do with Alexander—and even though I'm not an expert in dealing with rabid people—I know a few ways to get them to calm the fuck down and one of them was to make them think that they're dead.

It's just a little unfortunate everyone else who tried to step in got caught in the process.

I had only drawn my blade a few inches before I completely let go, continuing the sword path with only my arm, but the whole thing coupled with the intent to kill—and everything else happening in a fraction of a second—made Alexander and everyone else thought that half their bodies separated and landed on the floor.

It was akin to pretending to throw the ball for Zeus—making him turn around confused—or pretending to spill a bowl of hot soup to someone even though it was just water—making them squirm and scream for their lives—but this was on a different level.

Artem, Kuzma, Nikolas, and Bogdan were on the floor drenched in cold sweat while Alexander himself was completely knocked out, simply hanging by his hands from where the punching bag was supposed to be—but I didn't think that everyone else out of my range would be affected by making them draw their sidearms and pointing it at me.

I removed the veil as I fully sheathed my blade:

*clink*

"What…"

"..."

"I was sure…"

"He…"

"..."

"Alexander's…"

I let out a gentle smile as I politely asked them to lower their weapons, "It's just prank— a trick, alright? I didn't actually kill him… so… I dislike guns being pointed at me so please— Guys?"

Even at this moment, everyone was still at a loss from the moment they caught a glimpse of my blade, and the mental thought of their bodies hitting the floor, but the first one I asked to help was Dr. Nichols.

"Umm… You can treat his wounds now—"

Artem just snapped out of it, "Wait! He still might wake—"

I cut in, "So help me hold him down so she could properly sedate then treat him, whichever works first. We'll put him in the bed in the infirmary but we'll still restrain him while he's being treated but not this way… Any one of you could easily get out of that knot if you're thinking straight, he's just so out of it he needs more help than… this."

"Alright…"

With that said, I decided to finally cut him loose as I slowly drew my blade to avoid any misconceptions, but Artem and Nikolas were the ones who carried him to the infirmary after making sure he wouldn't be able to move a muscle. Because even if he's still knocked out right now, we wouldn't want our only official doctor to get injured and we all just rested easy when he was properly sedated and restrained as Dr. Nichols began her treatment.

Though Mikhail and Alexei and also Mimi and Ilya who were watching over them didn't know what the fuck just happened so I gave them a very, very, very brief explanation of what went down:

"Oh. I tried to kill him—"

"WHAT?!" The three exclaimed at the same time.

"YOU!" Mimi threw me a glare before turning to Mikhail and Alexei, "Don't move, I said! Your wounds are gonna open again! Stay on your beds!"

Ilya just had the realization as Artem and Nikolas were shaking their heads, "What actually happened?"

"I just said—"

"We're gonna need the long version, chief. And are you guys leaving? Who's gonna stay here besides me?"

Artem threw him a glance, "Ilya? We're gonna need to stick together as a team— We'll need you with us once everything settles—"

I cut in before they discussed without me, "That reminds me, except for Ilya who's now committed to his wife, everyone's going back."

Nikolas shook his head, "At least let me stay with—"

"Before we say anything more, we need Alexander situated first and we'll discuss who stays and who goes but as of right now, no one's going back to that place unless I say so—"

"WHAT?!"

"You gotta be kidding me?! We got—"

"Got what? Got shot by your own? As much as I hate to say this, you guys got fucked and you're the best unit anyone could fucking ask for. We'll get them back for this, I swear, but everyone's gotta do it my way or else you'd be eating more than pistol rounds with nary a dent in their actual force."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Look… if we all just calm down for a short bit, we'll sort it all out with Jesus because he already got a plan in his head but he won't be able to use his connections against them if you're all gonna be a looming threat to those people because what we're avoiding is a straight-up war—"

Alexei shook his head, "We're soldiers—"

"And I'm a fucking nerd that works in retail and guess where it got us! You gonna listen or what?!"

He tried to get up from his bed, "Fuck you—"

Artem stared him down, "Listen to him, Alexei. Calm the fuck down."

Hearing that, Alexei mouthed something under his breath before he glared at me, "Fine! What's your words of wisdom then?! Huh?! You—"

I cut him off and copied one of the women's special moves, "Artem's right. I'll talk to you when you calm down—"

"YOU FUCKING— HNGH! A-AH— Ow! You little— n-nurse, why'd you hit me?!"

Mimi got up right on his face, "HOW MANY TIME ARE WE GONNA TELL YOU TO LIE DOWN! YOU'RE BLEEDING AGAIN! D'you want a shot of what the doctor gave him?! You'll be out for a day!"

"A-A day?!"

Dr. Nichols followed with a threatening glare, "And stop screaming! This is a small room and we can hear everyone just fine! I'm not a urologist but I can snip your balls in your sleep if I wanted to!"

"Ah— S-Sorry, doctor…"

"..."

"..."

"..."

With that said, it got unbelievably quiet at this point because even I wouldn't dare piss her off right now, and we just watched them work for a few minutes before we gathered at the main hall with most of us present.