Lazy Dungeon Master

The Saintess and the Boss

“In the first place, this is the opposite direction that boss tried heading at the start.”

[… That so? Good job, noticing.]

“Yes, of course. Euma-senpai is quite the tactician, isn’t he.”

[That so? Euma, is weak. Now, are we, going?]

While on their way back across the stepping stones, Saintess Alka was boasting.

She was also walking side-by-side with Rin without the slightest sense of unease.

Unfortunately, she couldn’t find the phoenix anywhere, so it had likely hidden itself somewhere… it was very unfortunate.

Returning from the hot floor full of magma, they came back to the stone-paved and stone-bricked dungeon.

“This was the first place that boss was going to go.”

Using [Mapping], they headed through the dungeon while the saintess checked the map with her skill.

There should have been a wall there. However, it had disappeared because they defeated Euma.

“… I see, so Euma-senpai was the key?”

[Umu, trouble, some.]

Then, without any traps—once again, they saw a golem sitting down in front of a wall.

It was Euma. The feeling it gave off was obviously different from other golems. It was only sitting as normal, but for some reason it felt like a human.

When Euma saw the saintess and Rin, it suddenly raised its right hand and greeted them.

[Yo. It would’ve been great if you just went back, though.]

“Your plan was excellent. Normal adventurers probably would have been caught by it, senpai.”

[Haah… I’ll ask again—can you not just leave?]

“I refuse.”

[Rin, you don’t feel like stopping Alka either I take it?]

[Un? Right. I don’t.]

[Then I’ll just crush you two. Alright? … I’ll be waiting in the room right after this.]

[Kukuku, can, you? Good, show me!]

With a roar, Rin ate Euma. Its momentum destroyed the wall as well.

… Just beyond it was a door. It was a luxurious one, the door practically declaring itself to be a boss room’s.

“Euma-senpai talked about defeating boss, could it?”

[Kukuku, I wonder. That guy’s, even weaker, than Alka… but his head, it’s good.]

Euma seemed to have an intelligence like that of a human—no, better than a human’s. What would stand in their way as the dungeon’s boss?

The saintess braced herself.

The door opened with a heavy, dull sound.

Inside was a statue of a dimly shining iron knight. It was a knight wearing full plate armor, riding a horse and carrying a lance. However, its face could be seen as its face guard was up… it was a face that could only be described as blank, like an egg with holes in it.

Where was Euma hiding?

The saintess advanced slowly.

Blood thirst. The saintess quickly stepped back twice. Just then, the lance pierced into the place she was just at.

It raised the lance overhead and—bang!

Rin cut in and stopped it.

It was a statue, but it moved… it was a golem. It was the first time she had seen a horse-shaped golem, but it was probably possible if it was a boss.

It was a great surprise attack. If Rin weren’t there, it might have been decided just then.

[Kukuku, Eumaaa, that you, Euma!? Now you’re, a horse! Huh!?]

Rin laughed in delight.

[… Now then, let’s do it.]

The knight golem spoke, lowering its face guard. That was unmistakably Euma’s voice. Taking a short distance, Euma started again.

[Kukuku! Kuku kuku! I’m coming, Euma!]

Rin and Euma dashed towards each other at the same time, colliding… is what the saintess thought, but Euma quickly leapt from the horse. Only the horse shot towards Rin.

[This is, from before…—!?]

When Rin ate the horse, just after opening its mouth to an unbelievable size, the horse exploded. Something white shot out towards the inside of Rin’s throat.

[Gugee!? Guha, pe, pe—! T-this is, s-salt!!]

[There’s more where that came from, have as much as you want.]

A door opened behind Euma. A few white horses dashed in from it. Once five of them had entered, the door slammed shut.

[W-wait, Euma!? These, are all, salt!?]

[There’s more where that came from, have as much as you want.]

Using that same phrase, Euma spoke in a heartless fashion.

The white horses made of salt… the salt horses started relentlessly chasing after Rin.

While watching Rin take a distance from the salt golems and Euma, the saintess stopped the attack coming from behind her with her battle hammer.

“The salt makes your footsteps stand out even if you try to hide, Euma-senpai!”

[… …]

“Oh? Not talking, Euma-senpai? You could complement me, you know? Or is it that you can only speak with one of your bodies?”

It was a second knight-type golem. It was meant to be a surprise attack fully aimed at exploiting her carelessness. However, the saintess was sure that something would appear because it was Euma, so she prepared herself. Rather, she was disappointed it was only something to this extent.

[… Now then, let’s do it.]

“Yes, let’s, senpai.”

Speaking the exact same words as it did to Rin, the battle begun.

Euma’s swordsmanship was close to that of a knight’s. However, its capability was sloppy and was that of a C-Rank’s at most.

The saintess warded off the knight-type golem’s assault with the battle hammer held in her hands. She couldn’t expect for Rin, who was currently being chased by the salt horses, to protect her this time. However, she felt that she could straightforwardly win this battle.

“Fufufu, compared to boss… this is easy!”

The sound of metal striking metal resonated through the air. The saintess’ battle hammer was made from a mineral that was even stronger than the metal called black steel. As for Euma, its whole body was made of iron, same with its armor and weapon.

Whenever it stopped the saintess’ attacks, its sword would tremble with a jarring scream and have a mark left on it from her hammer.

“Hora hora hora! Good, there, there, and here!” [1]

The damage it was taking quickly became apparent through its movements as it gradually wore down. The saintess continued mercilessly denting Euma.

Then, Euma staggered, crouching down. Throwing away its sword, it thrust its left hand out in front of it.

“What? That’s all? Fufufu, you threw your sword away and gave up? But I can’t get to the dungeon core without defeating Euma-senpai right? So, I’ll be finishing you off!”

[… There’s more where that came from, have as much as you want.]

Euma pointed up with its right hand. With a start, she looked up while still keeping Euma in her sight and staying wary of a possible trap. However, there was nothing there… no, when she took a better look… it was the ceiling. It was white.

Immediately after that, the ceiling collapsed. It was a massive amount of salt. Despite the salt horse and Euma—who were both golems—being entirely alright with it, Rin and the saintess were momentarily force to close their eyes.

[Mogaa!? Pe—, peh—! Disgusting! Very, disgusting! Ugeh, peh!]

Rin’s agonized voice could be heard. Apparently, it appeared to have somehow wound up being fed a salt horse when it was forced to close its eyes. Rather, was salt its weak point? No, it definitely was. That’s why, even though she didn’t know why that was the case, Euma had prepared a massive amount of salt to use.

“Kuh—!”

When she opened up her eyes while solidifying her defense with her battle hammer, Euma was standing in front of her. It didn’t have a weapon, it probably got lost during the violent falling of the salt. Approaching, Euma’s left hand was much closer to the saintess than it was before.

—In the next instant, something tiny shot out from Euma’s left hand, piercing the saintess’ heart.

“… Huh?”

She coughed.

Blood came from her mouth. It appeared to have also pierced her lung.

Despite her wearing an iron breastplate, it pierced her all the way through.

“Despite… golem, you used… magic? … When did… you chant…?”

Even if she tried using recovery magic, her enemy wouldn’t give her the chance. Blood was filling her lungs to start with, even breathing was becoming impossible. Her speech started sounding like Rin’s style as well. She knew from experience that she was about to die.

“Gofu… Fufu… I was, careless. I guess, it’s my, defeat… isn’t… it…”

[…]

Euma didn’t speak. Naturally, it wasn’t as though it needed to send her off peacefully to her next life or anything. The saintess would revive after all.

If it exposed its methods, she could take measures against them the next time. Therefore, it said nothing, nor did it answer her.

Even so, the saintess was able to make some guesses.

Her clothes were wet. Therefore, it was probably water magic. As it was able to penetrate her iron breastplate, it was probably at least an upper class magic.

Euma, rather than being a golem, was probably a subspecies of gargoyle.

She didn’t understand how it was able to use magic without using an incantation, but she definitely wouldn’t mistake what she just saw. Therefore, next time. Next time…!

… She didn’t have a next time. For some time after this, the saintess wouldn’t be able to dive into this dungeon. That was one of [Treaty]’s restrictions.

[Mu—!? O-oi, Alka! You got, killed!?]

“Gu, my apolo—gies, boss… I’ll be, back, some… time…”

Unable to oppose the darkness that slowly took over her consciousness, the saintess’ eyes gradually closed—

(… Aah, I at least wanted boss (Rin) to eat me in the end. But, it can’t because I’m covered in salt right now…)

—while thinking about such an irrelevant thing.

Footnotes:

3x Hora -> just a typical battle exclamation. Couldn’t think of a decent way to anglicize.