Maybe a Fake Gintama

Chapter 567: The Novel You Are Reading Is That Kind of Novel

Meanwhile, on the main ship of the Quick Response Team orbiting Earth, a man with messy hair and sunglasses standing in the control room suddenly sneezed.

"Hahaha, feels like Miss A'Liang is thinking about me, hahaha…" Sakamoto rubbed the back of his head and giggled, then decided on his own, "Alright! Decided! For now, let's head back to the Smile Bar..."

Before he could finish, Sakamoto was struck in the groin and fell to the ground, clutching himself and twitching slightly.

"What... are you doing, Mutsu..." Sakamoto turned around, looking at the culprit of the painful blow.

"Is this the time for such things?" Mutsu took a step forward, delivering another kick without glancing at Sakamoto.

"Target lost!" reported a member of the Quick Response Team in charge of radar search from the control console. "Captain, this is..."

"Completely hidden in the darkness?" Sakamoto stood up, clutching his groin, and glanced at the radar screen before the member smirked slightly and commented softly, "The Phantom Mercenary Tribe is no joke~."

"Is this the time to be impressed?" Mutsu retorted.

"No need to worry," Sakamoto said nonchalantly, crossing his arms as he looked out the window at the blue planet. That planet has them, after all."

At this moment, on Earth, in Kabukicho Park, Edo.

Katsura rode a white horse, wearing armor and a headband specific to Joi Patriots. One hand held the reins, the other raised high with a sword, shouting, "Charge! Attack the universe!!"

By the way, Katsura also had a white flag with "Galactic Unmatched" written on it tied next to him.

Seeing the unruly white horse neighing and jumping around, Kagura, standing beside it, retorted, "Zura, you can't reach the universe on that white wooden horse."

As Kagura finished speaking, the white horse threw Katsura off and, with a neigh, kicked him away with its hind legs.

"Oh, it's that kind of launching device," Gintoki muttered to himself, then turned away along with Shinpachi and Kagura, giving a half-hearted cheer, "With that, maybe you can really reach the universe. Good luck."

Lying on the ground, twitching and bleeding from his mouth, Katsura struggled to raise his hand, "Wait... wait, you guys, how can you ignore the crisis of Earth's survival? Are you still samurai?"

"If 'keeping a pet instead of recognizing it's an alien invader' is considered samurai, then I quit," Shinpachi retorted expressionlessly.

The story started after Kawaki left the restaurant. With his not-so-bright mind and many writing boards at home, Katsura finally remembered the last time he saw Elizabeth.

A woman in the same white suit as Elizabeth, with big red lips and a red bow on her head, appeared and explained the truth behind Elizabeth's sudden departure.

"Yes, that person and I are not some cute pets but invaders of this planet. We are a spy unit sent to enemy territory to gather intelligence, secretly active under Dakini, Amanto, and Yato. We are feared as the White Demons. Our name is—Renpou!"

"He disguised himself as your pet to gather intelligence on Earth for our team. Your cute pet is their captain, and they've completed their mission and returned to the mothership, erasing all unfavorable memories. You forgot him because he erased your memory."

These were the exact words of the woman who claimed to be Elizabeth's ex-girlfriend. And then... Katsura ended up like this...

Watching Gintoki and the others leave, Katsura struggled to raise his head and shouted, "You guys! You'd rather believe that fake Fujiko's words than Elizabeth? I won't accept it! Elizabeth invading Earth? That loose woman being Elizabeth's ex-girlfriend..."

Before he could finish, Katsura was suddenly overshadowed. The source of the shadow was the so-called loose woman, temporarily referred to as Fujiko, standing with her legs on either side of Katsura's head, her suit giving a clear view from Katsura's perspective.

"Oh my, where am I loose?" Fujiko teased, lifting her suit.

"You..." Katsura's eyes widened, and he couldn't form a complete sentence, his body stiffening from some stimulation.

"Can you tell me?" Fujiko pretended to be troubled, swaying her body, "Where am I loose?"

"W-what...where, you..." Katsura stammered, his cheeks flushing red, his body trembling, but his eyes fixed upwards.

"Why would you help a loose woman like me?" Fujiko asked, her voice full of seduction.

"I-I-I..." Katsura covered his eyes, weakly retorting, "I'm not helping you! It's not to expel foreign enemies as a patriot! It's as a friend!"

Katsura's tone calmed, "Even with hundreds of doubts and evidence, I believe in the shared drink. That's men's friendship..."

Then, Katsura sat up, back facing everyone, continuing, "He must be in some trouble, caught in a difficult situation. He must be very distressed."

Katsura turned back, looking earnestly at everyone, "Whether it's the galaxy or a river of blood, I'll cross it to save my friend!"

Seeing the blood streaming from Katsura's nose, Shinpachi muttered, "No, you've already created a river of blood."

After hearing Katsura's speech, Fujiko chuckled softly, "He's not as simple as you think, but it doesn't matter. Our enemy is the same, right? If you don't want Earth destroyed, you'll help, won't you?"

Sitting on the railing, Gintoki impatiently said, "Stop joking. Who's going to help you invade Earth? Do you even know how to write 'invade'? Huh?"

Squatting and writing "invade each field" on the ground with a stick, Kagura turned and replied, "It's probably too difficult for Yato."

Fujiko beckoned to Gintoki, raising an eyebrow, "How about making a deal, kid? Although it's a pity it's not in bed."

"Who are you calling a kid? You bastard," Gintoki instantly retorted, "You, how long are you going to act like the virtuous Fujiko? You, without [beep] or [beep], loose woman!"

In the next moment...

Standing on a swing, Fujiko shouted, "Oh my, didn't you notice? There's a celestial maiden flying above you~"

Lying under the swing, nose bleeding, eyes following Fujiko's movements, Gintoki thought in shock, "So fast! It instantly turned into this indecent relationship!"

"What do you mean so fast?! You clearly ran over to peep!" Shinpachi angrily retorted.

"What a pity!" With that, Gintoki instantly vanished.

In the next moment...

"You've been a pervert from the start!" Shinpachi retorted again.

"Didn't expect Earth to have such loose men, really surprising~" Fujiko, shaking hands with Gintoki, praised sincerely.

"Misspelled!" Shinpachi retorted vehemently, "What are you two acknowledging each other for?! How are you shaking hands?!"

"Understanding other races in a short time." Katsura walked over, looking serious, "If we talk to Elizabeth, we can surely reconcile!"

"They haven't said a word to each other," Shinpachi retorted again.

"Anyway, we need a battle plan." Katsura rubbed his chin, thinking to himself.

In the next moment, Katsura, Gintoki, and Kagura lay on the ground, looking up at the scenery inside Fujiko's suit.

"Well then, use me as a map to plan the battle."

"So, about that," Katsura tentatively said, "If we consider this as the universe..."

"What are you talking about?" Gintoki scolded, "A woman's body is already a universe."

"No universe, only a forest," Kagura retorted.

Unable to bear it, Shinpachi turned to the sky and shouted, "Elizabeth! You can destroy Earth now!"

As Shinpachi finished, he heard a loud crash and the screams of Gintoki and the others behind him, instantly leaving him expressionless.