Nexus Awakened (An Isekai LitRPG Gender Bender Story)

865. A Million Roses And Only One Ilya

Ilya, the daughter of Michaela – The Princess of Paradise lived a life that didn’t know what laid beyond the pale walls of her palace. She would hear the commotion and the news of her Kingdom and the wider world carried by the wind.

When night fell, she’d picture them in her dreams as she slept alone on a bed far too large for a single child of her age. Stuffed plushies embalmed with gold and pillows too frilly to be comfortable were the only presence to keep her company at night.

Iscario couldn’t always be there for her. And when he was, Ilya would try to find excuses to sleep alone.

Memories of dead bugs to illustrate his cruel lullabies of conquest and personal imperfection haunted her through countless nights. Rigorous daily schedules consumed her life by the day.

Every hour that wasn’t spent in the garden was spent having servants brush her hair, clean her body, brush her teeth, file her nails…

At some point, Ilya stopped to wonder if she was a doll rather than a human. An inanimate object meant to look pretty, rather than to think. The warmth of her mother was seldomly felt, and when she did get the chance, it was never enough time to savor it.

Ilya spent years living as a doll. Food did not taste the same. Colors began to fade. The birds that flew overhead were the only things in her world that held colors. She realized it was because they came from the outside.

The castle was far too large for the handful of people who lived within. Iscario was barely home. She would spend her days dreaming of the outside world and reminiscing of the days when Iscario would take her hand to stroll through the gardens.

An Iscario who wasn’t consumed with the idea of perfectionism or impurities.

A boy who was just her older brother.

Ilya was the Princess of the most powerful Kingdom of Grandis. Anything she wanted could be granted in an instant. But there was nothing she wanted more than the love of her family. For Iscario to see her as his sister rather than a perfect doll, and for her mother to one day be free from her prison.

She knew that her mother was just like her. They were birds imprisoned in a cage. But even birds could sing. Ilya could only cry whenever the small moths or crickets she befriended died whether because of her clumsiness or because of Iscario.

Her songs were her cries as she buried them beneath the apple-bearing tree. She wished for a life where she and her mother could run hand in hand outside of their cage and see the world with the winds at their back…

That dream became a reality.

“Mom…” Ilya repeated these words she thought she would never be able to say.

The young girl clasped onto her mother’s hand as they walked barefooted around the crater. Several kilometers worth of land was nothing but exposed bedrock. However, each step Michaela took caused pale grass to form beneath her feet. Flowers such as pale roses grew amongst the grass, forming large patches.

It defied all physics as there was no place for the grass to grow. Not a single crack could allow the grass to take hold here.

And yet, the ground transformed in her wake. She was the heralder of paradise. No longer was she the harbringer of hell. Michaela savored the moment as she tightly held Ilya’s hand, bringing her along the soft blades of grass.

They weren’t sharp like the ones affected by the Pale Web in the ruins of Paradise. It was gentle, and it caused Ilya to occasionally laugh as she murmured: “Mom…,” again.

“Does it still feel like a dream to you, my dear?” Michaela spoke informally to her daughter.

“Mhm. I still can’t believe you’re here.” Ilya hummed.

Michaela came to an abrupt stop and leaned over to fix her daughter’s hair. Black strips could be found among her pristine, pale hair. Furthermore, her eyes were entirely gold rather than the blue-gold that she used to have.

Not only that, but she had grown to compensate for fusing with the past Ilya. She was an adolescent now rather than a child, and Michaela remarked how she would’ve been an adult if her 15 years living as a weapon was taken into consideration.

Thankfully for Michaela and Ilya, that was not the case. Ilya deserved to make up for the time that was lost, as did all children. She was around 13 years old in appearance, so she was certainly still a child.

“Are you upset that I’m not as small as you remember?” Ilya timidly asked, avoiding eye contact with her mother.

“You’re still small to me.” Michaela patted her head and fixed the matching coat of feathers they wore. “My adorable Ilya. Are you cold?”

“No. It’s very warm here. Hehehe~”

Michaela’s heart melted.

What Ilya wore was crudely made as their clothes had been destroyed alongside all of their belongings.

The only thing that remained was the largest Marker in all Grandis which resided in the center of the crater. Like Michaela, it had the ability to spread the pale garden.

Secondly, Michaela retrieved a smaller version of the same weapon that was used to destroy Mount Saris.

It was the strongest weapon known to exist. Paradise Lost Corrupted Items were incredibly powerful. The jump from the few tens of thousands of stats that Sinder’s garbs gave to Anna did not compare to the millions of a Paradise Lost weapon.

Paradise Lost – the weapon – was only this powerful because it combined two Paradise Lost level Corrupted Items. She also imagined that the Fruit of Light had a large hand in it.

“Look Ilya. It’ll be the first sunrise we’ll share.” Michaela pointed to the sunlight behind her.

Ilya smiled but she did not turn.

“You’re already my sun.” Ilya innocently said. She cupped her mother’s cheeks and smiled like the sun. “… Mom. Will there be plenty more things to share as well? The sun was one of the things I was allowed to see from the palace.”

“Ilya, my dear, sweet Ilya. Why are you speaking so reserved?”

“I don’t want to be too greedy.”

Michaela cupped Ilya’s face in her hands and kissed her forehead.

“Be greedy. Laugh, live, ask, demand – I will always be there for you. I can now. I’m sorry I couldn’t in the past. But it’s over, isn’t it?”

Ilya froze. A shocked expression came across her face. Michaela internally panicked, wondering if she said something wrong, so she asked:

“Was that too much?”

Ilya shook her head as her hands curled up to her chest.

Then, she croaked with a smile brighter than the sun.

“Mmn. It’s the first time you’ve kissed me.” She spoke. “My first present from mom.”n/ô/vel/b//in dot c//om

Michaela opened her mouth, but no words came out. Her eyes moved from her daughter’s eyes down to the ground, then back up. They tried to find a place to stay but something inside of her did not allow her to.

Her eyes stung, and her body trembled heavily.

And before she knew it, the tears wouldn’t stop falling. Michaela looked like a child as she wept into her crook of her daughter’s neck. The emotions she felt were alien to her. She had cried before, but it was never like this.

“Ilya…” She wept hoarsely. “I’m sorry…”

Nothing could stop her tears.

“There were a million of Captured Stars… but there is only one you! My daughter!”

The weight of millions of years’ worth of struggle and anguish disappeared. Everything had finally led to the one perfect outcome where she could live like the humans she once despised. There was nothing to hold back her well of emotions now as she realized that the reason why she was able to feel this was because she was no longer the same ‘Star’ as she used to be.

“I found you, my Ilya!”

“You found me, mom~” Ilya sniffled.

The past had haunted Michaela even as an Archetype.

They will continue to haunt her in the future.

But here, she was able to rectify her past and her self-loathing. What was born in Grandis was the budding flower of what could be if she nurtured it properly. She vowed with a howling cry that she would tend to this garden like she would with her daughter.

She cried her heart out for what felt like hours. Ilya cried alongside her, having never realized the depth of her mother’s suffering. Both had been broken enough, and now, they were finally able to reconcile.

Once broken wings were restored.

When it was over, Michaela removed her head from Ilya’s neck and said:

“Ilya. Let’s go.”

“Go where?”

Michaela stood up and took her daughter’s hands with her. She then looked up at the Nexus.

“Home.”

What did home mean to Ilya? It had always been synonymous with prison. She never had a true home to call her own. Would the Nexus be the same?

Ilya was worried, reflected by her tightening grip.

“Will we be ok?” She asked.

“Why don’t you ask the person who has been letting me live there?” Michaela suggested.

Ilya’s eyes came down from the Nexus as soon as they came to an abrupt stop.

There, standing at the lip of the crater, was the only other face she could recognize aside from her own mother and Iscario.

“Frost…” She whispered. “… will be looking after us?”

“She will.”

“Doesn’t it look like she needs help more than us?”

“Aha. I’ve heard of how Frost tends to win her battles at the cost of herself. This is my first time seeing the result in person.”

Ilya shook her head. She remembered how Frost did everything she could to save her. She had thought it was because of who Ilya was.

But seeing Frost in a considerably worse state now caused her to understand just what kind of person she was.

“… She took me out of brother’s hands… and because of me…”

“Frost won’t accept an apology. She has the tendency to have a soft spot for people in need. The Nexus is home to people she saved. What should have been a whim was her duty. That’s why you should not apologize. She won’t forgive you.”

“Mm.” Ilya nodded.

It was hard for her to keep it together. She had already spent her tears for her mother during their reunion and when they first emerged together in this crater. The well was dry, but her eyes continued to sting as she watched a white-haired figure jump into the crater with Frost in her hand.

“Isn’t that…?” Ilya remembered seeing Dark Memoria. She was with Frost at one point. But she didn’t remember there being two of them. “One and two?”

“The one holding Frost is our friend. As for the other in the suit… Time will tell.” Michaela didn’t elaborate further, not wanting to sour the moment.

She kept a close eye on Dark Memoria, her hand ready to retrieve her Paradise Lost to cut down the Aberration of Elysia.

However, Frost suddenly called out as if sensing her hostility.

“She’s with us Michaela!”

“… as you say.” She easily conceded. “Go on, dear. Frost is right in front of you.”

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