Quick Transmigration: Saving The Crazy Villainess

Chapter 148: Jiang Ying Yue (55) <2-in-1>

WARNING: SERIOUSLY, I'M BEGGING YOU FOLKS NOT TO READ THIS WHILE DRINKING OR EATING!!! OR BETTER YET, SKIP THE FIRST PART OF THIS CHAPTER!!! (Important things must be emphasized, believe me, I'm doing this for a reason, hahaha)

....

Everyone waited with bated breaths for the Emperor to open his eyes and say something, like the descriptions of the taste, or the feeling he got after consuming the substance. Rui Wang said it could increase a person's lifespan by twenty years. Such a miraculous medicine should be producing some sort of effect when consumed, right? After all, it was that marvelous, and was also from that famously reclusive but sacred temple.

"Buuuurrrrpppp!" That was the first reaction that they witnessed from the emperor. The man awkwardly opened his eyes because that loud, ear-splitting, draggy sound came out, not from his mouth, but from his butt. Confusion, embarrassment, and all sorts of complicated expressions crossed his face. Actually, not only him, but all those in the grand chamber.

Most ministers had a stunned or uncomfortable look on. Rui Wang's also became weird. And it was also starting to get pale. 'It should not be the effect of the potion, right?' he worriedly thought.

The third prince was pining for this medicine from the Soul Temple to not let Hai Wang be ahead of the competition. He wanted it to have the effect stated by the old woman. It had to be a divine medicine! After all the explanation he did with great fanfare and confidence, he wouldn't be able to afford the embarrassment if it turned out to be a sham. This was he desperately prayed that it was truly as it was rumored to be!

Meanwhile, Jiang Li's lips twitched. 'Jiang Ying Yue created something so simple? Every bragging has been said and done, yet her prided work can only make one fart? Even though the farting is indeed very loud and quite surprising, but...'

He didn't know what to think. His expectation had been too much since she looked so full of herself when she boasted about it.

The man shook his head and decided to give her the benefit of the doubt.

'Let's wait. Anyway, it won't hurt to check if something more will happen. I don't believe it will end just like that. If it does, I'll have sent her back to the witch at the border to learn everything from scratch!' 

In front of the prince-general, those from the third prince's faction, Rui Wang included, were also whispering the first two words among themselves. "Let's wait. Something from that place should not be simple. Let's not be anxious and be so pessimistic when the actual result has yet to happen. Believe in the symbol on that bottle and the beautiful look of the contents. It should not be simple."

It didn't take long for the answer to arrive. A very unexpected one at that. Really not simple... Yet, also very unexplainable.

"BRRRRRUUUIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTT!!!!" 

Together with that loud, continuous sound which seemed both watery and gaseous, was a burst of extremely foul fragrance that enveloped the whole place. Everyone could just not help their reactions to it. They instinctively covered their noses because the odor was just too much, it could even kill!

Each of the people there was mostly pampered since birth and had kept themselves and their surroundings in constant fragrance. Actually, even if they were not, the smell was just too terrible. One of the foul-mouthed and straightforward ministers couldn't help but comment, "What the hell! Where is that abominable scent coming from? Which scoundrel dares to take a dump in the court?! You lot! This is a proper court meeting! If you can't endure or are having bowel movements, you should have asked for sick leave. Why embarrass yourself and make your fellow ministers suffer? So shameless! Damn, it's just so stinky! It's a biological weapon!"

Jiang Li had been staring at the Emperor since forever so he didn't miss the awkward, embarrassed, and raging expression the old man had. He blinked and turned his head to the daring minister's direction, and then lit up some imaginary candle in his head for him.

'I pray for your soul. I hope your body doesn't get chopped into many pieces and fed to the dogs. I also hope you get a proper burial place.'

Apparently, Jiang Li was already believing this person would end up dead sooner or later, paying for the price of his honest rebuke. Well, this was just a case of ignorance is not always bliss. Like how the damnable odor wafting all over the grand chamber could kill, so was idiocy and ignorance.

Another middle-aged minister with a hand pinching his nose replied to the first guy, "Old Guo, I think the smell is coming from..."

He didn't dare say the words, but his eyes went to the front. Many catch his movement so even though he immediately lowered his head and looked away, the majority already swung their heads to the throne's direction. The few slow ones wondered if the culprit was from those lining up on the forefront. But those astute and experienced in the world immediately managed to guess what took place.

'Ahhh...' When a realization dawned upon them, they started clearing their throats and lowered their heads too, lower than ever before, feeling their heartbeats stopping.

'Damn... It's the Emperor who sh*tted in the dragon throne!'

"RUIIIIII WAAAAAAANNNGGGGGG!!!!!"

The embarrassed old man who literally did some miracle before his trusted subjects roared in anger and did not conceal the matter anymore since he saw that everybody already guessed it. The ones which he found so painful to take were the scrutinizing gazes from the Marshal and the Prince-General. Despite also covering their noses, they were boldly sneaking peeks at him.

To be honest, he wanted to leave already. The feeling on his butt was just so inexplicable.

Sticky, watery, foul-smelling. It would leak and trickle down his legs if he stood up.

Damn. How the f*ck did he end up in this state? Even though he loved his dragon throne, this was not how he wanted to bond with it!

This was why he ended up shouting Rui Wang's name again. This time, the anger was greater than before. There was no tenderness and affection in his eyes. Only endless fury.

The young man before him was his flesh and blood, but he wanted to eat and drink his blood to appease his wrath. This was the first time that he wanted to kill this favorite son of his! More than his hated second son!

In his anger, he ignored the embarrassment and furiously waved a hand at Head Eunuch Lin. In tone capable of freezing even a boundless ocean, he looked at the pale face third prince and declared. "Zhen's son, Rui Wang, has been very negligent in his affairs and disrespected the customs. He is not to step outside of his house for three years, his salary forfeited for three years, and would have to write scriptures to cultivate his spirit and mind every day without fail within three years!"

Jiang Li looked sideway to see Hai Wang seemingly in a very good mood even though his own father had just made a fool out of himself. The male lead was good at hiding it since outwardly, he looked pained, like he didn't want everything that had happened. Actually even Jiang Li was assuming the man was happy based on his personality.

On the other hand, Rui Wang's face was losing color, he stood there upright, but he was badly shaking, looking so like he had suffered a huge blow. For some time, he was mumbling stuff. 'There's no way... No way... it should be something genuine. I had many appraisers inspect it before presenting it here... Why? Why did it turn out like this?'

When Head Eunuch Lin shouted, "Your Highness, Rui Wang, please accept the decree!" The man was still out of it so two of the guards on standby had to step forward and force the prince into kneeling.

A little further on Rui Wang's left, there was Jiang Li who kept sneering because even though the third prince did something punishable by death, all he received was a house arrest. Just wow. Even though the old dude was very angry, how come he still couldn't bring himself to totally hate this bastard?

'Now I'm no longer doubting whether Hai Wang is the true son of fate. He is so loved by the heavens that they couldn't bear for him not to have drama in his life; unloved by his father... somebody else so incompetent keeps on one-upping him solely through his father's affection, and a female lead that is so hard to tame. Fate keeps ensuring that he'd literally be rising from the ashes. It created so many obstacles and hurdles for the male lead which he had to sweep away in a fashion akin to a tornado so, at the end of his story, he would appear very awesome.'

The prince-general clicked his tongue then watched, with covered mouth and nose of course, as the Emperor postponed the reward ceremony for Hai Wang due to his current condition.

While the old man exited in a manner greater and more memorable than his entrance, Jiang Li made sure to check on the male lead. And surprisingly, the person was just sporting an indifferent expression.

This person suffered quite the blows in succession this time. And he couldn't help but feel a very tiny bit of pity.

But he also admired him for staying strong and looking so nonchalant. Remembering the female lead who kept giving this fine male specimen problems and headache, he thought Hai Wang doesn't deserve it. He should really move on and find a new lover, a normal and understanding one. Otherwise, he'd die from too much heartache or heart attack. That would be a very sad ending for a male lead, no?

...

There were so many dramas that happened in the next days that came. But none were as interesting as the stories about the imperial family.

Rui Wang was sentenced to a three-year-long house arrest.

Imperial Concubine Shu begged the Emperor, in the name of love and their memories, to retract the order, but because of the memory of him losing face in front of all the important people of the Zhou Dynasty, the Emperor hardened his heart and did not budge even when the famous beauty resorted to pillow traps.

Hai Wang's promotion to Crown Prince was announced, but the date was not yet finalized.

Sheng Lingxin would remain the fiancee of the future emperor because she was still in a comatose state. But Jiang Li surmised that once she woke up and could speak again, the male lead would force her to go to the court with him and announce their annulment.

He came to this conclusion due to the fact that Chen Heng was a calculative guy and knew how to keep his promises. Since he promised the woman to break off their engagement, he would definitely do so. In any case, he wouldn't want to appear so desperate for a woman even though she wanted no romantic relationship between them.

As for Rui Wang, that arrogant and self-entitled prince...

Hehe, the man was currently enjoying the life of an idle prince in his manor, surrounded by people who couldn't do their jobs or function as normal due to making frequent trips to the bathroom. Now, the Rui Wang Residence became a very... How to describe it? It was simply a residence avoided by other high-ranking people for a reason so funny and ridiculous, yet real. Nowadays, only the Marshal visited them since he was still that person's father-in-law.

But speaking of that Marshal...

In the dimly lit study, Jiang Li rolled his eyes upon reading from the latest reports on how that man was finally moving his forces.

There were other surprising facts alongside that piece of news. For example, how that old bastard truly lived up to being a bastard. The meaning here was double. Jiang Ke was truly a bastard, and that he was somebody with a heart blacker than a dog's.

While clicking his tongue, he looked at Hai Wang sitting across him then at the scroll in hand, afterward, he said, "Tch. Tch. I can't believe that this old guy is this traitorous. What a white-eyed wolf! He changed camp so fast. He's both terribly smart and stupid that I get annoyed from even seeing his name!"

The prince sneered at the general, each time he was so amazed at how different this person was when not in his aloof, cold mode. He didn't even bother with the pretenses and kept dropping formalities. Instead of addressing himself as 'This Prince', he kept using the simple 'I', his unsophisticated manner of speaking only what commoners and merchants would use. 

While wondering if this was gotten from staying at the borders for too long, Hai Wang cleared his throat and replied, "Lu Ling. This prince believes the Marshal is probably in that camp all along, and only pretended to be with my third brother. He will probably make a move this week. After all, the Emperor said he would conduct the ceremony in a week. If This Prince is crowned before their hatched plans occurred, then everything they worked on will go down the drain."

"That's for sure." Jiang Li nodded, reverting the message into a scroll before passing it to the second prince. "Take your time analyzing that. But I'll be leaving now. I have to be back before dinner."

'To accompany your witch again,' the other prince mockingly thought. But he kept this to himself in fear of Chen Wang suddenly drawing his sword and starting a fight with him.

The last time he blurted out the same thing, the man suddenly attacked him and kept exchanging blows with him even though he already admitted defeat. Lady Ping'An was truly Chen Wang's reverse scale. Mention anything bad about her and this icy guy would flip out and attack. Or maybe Chen Wang only does this to him since he was aware that Hai Wang secretly knew some martial arts.

Knowing this, the male lead said, somewhat annoyed, "Okay. This prince will see you tomorrow."

After Jiang Li secretly left the Hai Wang Residence, he headed to the herbal shop owned by Jiang Ying Yue. He saw her there curiously checking the jars of medicine.

When she noticed him, she immediately went forward and curtsied, her long sleeves flapped in the air as she elegantly bent her legs and placed her hands on her left waist.

Jiang Li grinned at her and asked, "Shall we go and see your sister for real now?"

The girl only smiled after raising her head, slightly showing her set of perfect white teeth.

However, when he extended his hand to her..., without breaking eye contact with him, she didn't hesitate once to accept it.