The Principle of a Philosopher by Eternal Fool “Asley”

Chapter 474: Boys’ Talk

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“HAHAHAHAHAHA!! That was GOLDEN, Asley!”

Ryan’s wedding had proceeded without any particular incident… up to a certain point.

Though it was a peculiar marriage ceremony, blending T’oued culture’s temple ritual with the presence of a completely different religion’s priest, Asley flawlessly took on his designated role. However, as it went on, Asley had ended up delivering a spectacular blunder.

“Together in times of wellness, times of sickness, and even times of FOOLISHNESS… How’d you even slip that in!? HAHAHAHAHAHA!!”

Bruce mimicked Asley’s extra remark, laughing as he gave him a hearty pat on the back.

Asley, looking frustrated, voiced his complaint,

“Argh! I just read that line in a book once — well, turns out Pochi’s scribbled that part in as a prank, and I accidentally memorized it!”

With a smirk, Bruce set his mug of ale on the table, marking the scene of the men’s gathering — an after-party just among themselves.

Meanwhile, the women held their own gathering in a separate room.

“I must say, I am quite surprised to see… this sort of gathering as an aspect of Regalian culture,” remarked Eigul, the leader of Eddo Boars.

“This sort of gathering you’re referring to is what’s commonly known as a bachelor party. Typically, it’s a celebration among men on the eve of their last night of bachelorhood, but due to time constraints, we had to settle for just a drinking session this time,” explained Warren, as Dragan nodded in agreement.

“And the counterpart that is supposed to be held exclusively among women is called a bachelorette party… If I remember correctly,” Dragan added.

“Yes, that is correct, Sir Dragan. Well, it wouldn’t be appropriate for the newlywed Sir Ryan to hold a bachelor party, so we decided to keep it simple with just a gathering,” Warren clarified.

“So, normally, there are other things we are supposed to do…?”

As Eigul pondered, Bruce cracked a grin and proceeded to whisper a full explanation to the former.

“What in the–!? A visit to the red light district!? How can one morally justify that!?”

“Ehh, yeah, I guess you T’oued folks would never understand.”

Bruce’s jesting remark was halted by Ryan.

“Don’t plant any strange ideas, Bruce. And Sir Eigul, not all men in the War Demon Nations partake in bachelor parties, either.”

“A-ah, I see… Still, I never thought such customs would even exist…”

Eigul tried to digest the information, but Blazer interjected.

“Bruce is just joking around. Fewer and fewer people actually do it these days.”

“That is reassuring to hear,” sighed Eigul in relief.

Feeling the awkwardness, Bruce changed the subject,

“A-anyway, Reyna looked absolutely stunning today, didn’t she?”

However, this was yet another blunder by Bruce.

“Hmm… Bruce? Is Reyna usually not beautiful?”

“Why would you think that!?”

“It sounded like you were implying it… or were you not?”

“She’s always beautiful! But like, she’s EXTRA beautiful today — right, Ryan!? Weren’t you mesmerized by Reyna in her bridal dress!?”

“Yes, of course, I was.”

“Gah…! He’s totally unapologetic!”

Unable to say anything further, Bruce crossed his arms and turned away from Ryan. Suddenly, Eigul remembered something,

“Come to think of it, the bouquet toss you did at the end is also a War Demon Nation custom, isn’t it? They say that if an unmarried woman catches it, she’ll be the next to get married, or something to that effect?”

Reid nodded.

“Yeah, that’s why everyone was so eager to grab it.”

“Wait, really? That’s actually a thing?”

Asley tilted his head in confusion.

“Oh, come to think of it, I suppose you didn’t go outside…” Warren said, recalling Asley’s actions.

“I thought it wouldn’t be appropriate for the priest to follow them outside, so…”

“You didn’t need to adhere to such formality, Sir Asley.”

Ryan expressed gratitude towards Asley’s consideration.

Asley chuckled dryly in response to Ryan’s concern — as he felt he had no choice but to do so.

After all, excuses aside, Asley had an actual reason for not going outside.

Unable to mention it, Asley diverted the conversation to the bouquet toss.

“A-anyway… So, who caught the bouquet?” he inquired, to which Adolf leaned forward onto the table to answer.

“You really should’ve seen it — it was quite a tense competition! Before Miss Reyna threw the bouquet, they even had to establish a set of rules…”

“Huh?”

“No magic, no magecraft, no special skills, no jumping, no movement — like, really, everyone had to stay still — and no moving your hands beyond thirty centimeters in front of you…”

“S-so it was entirely left to chance?”

“Yes! If it had been a jumping contest, Miss Lylia would’ve won it easily, after all!”

Asley raised an eyebrow upon hearing this.

“Really? And Pochi didn’t participate? I’d imagine she’d be eager to join in.”

“Oh, no, she was just smiling at everyone as usual,” Adolf explained, prompting Asley to tilt his head yet again.

“Hmm, sounds unusual to me, actually… Hmm? Wait, so who caught the bouquet then?”

“Ahh, great…”

“Huh?”

When Asley asked, a profoundly long sigh emanated from the bar counter.

Turning around, he saw the diminutive figure of the ancient Black Emperor, huddled even smaller.

Everyone chuckled at Bright’s reaction. From their response, Asley figured out the answer — who the woman who had caught Reyna’s bouquet was.

“Lemme guess…”

Asley pointed at Bright, and Adolf nodded.

“Miss Irene almost — and I mean ALMOST — had it, but the bouquet crossed about fell centimeters in front of her, and it landed in the hands of Miss Ferris who was standing next to her.”

“Oh, wow…”

As Asley let out an exclamation, everyone chuckled.

Then, Bruce chimed in,

“Well, surely even Miss Irene couldn’t compete with her. She’s a woman who’s lived for thousands of years, you know. Hahaha!”

“”And afterward, Miss Ferriss was seen pestering Sir Bright for a ring,”” Tzar explained.

And with that explanation, he felt the need to inquire further.

“By the way, Bright, I never knew you and Ferriss were in that kind of relationship…”

Upon hearing this, Bright quietly shook his head.

“As strange as it sounds, I have no idea when, where, and how we ended up like this, either…”

“Ah…”

Bright’s anguished voice prompted the other Black Emperor, Warren, to react.

Warren’s voice caught Bright’s attention, and he turned to look at Warren.

“Could it be that you two were looking after the Violet Phoenixes?”

“Huh? W-well, yes, we were. We had Chappie handle most of the heavy lifting, but the instructions came from me and Ferris…”

“…That’s it.”

“…What’s what?”

“In practice, you were already a married couple.”

“W-wait a minute! I’ve never even thought of marriage!”

“Perhaps, but you having children changed everything. That is how a common-law marriage is recognized.”

“A-are you suggesting the Violet Phoenixes are the children?”

“That is what I meant, yes.”

“T-that’s absurd! What kind of fool would even consider birds children of their own!?”

“Exhibit #1: That man over there.”

Warren calmly pointed at Asley, whose face was splendidly displaying a foolish expression.

“Gah…! I can’t stand this… I hate that I somehow understand it…!”

“Asley had been raising Chappie like a child of his own. They say students learn by watching their masters, so it’s not surprising that Ferris, who observed him, might consider the Violet Phoenixes as her children as well. In fact, maybe Ferris even calculated that…”

“Yes, that’s totally what she would do…”

“With over a thousand children and living together for five thousand years… I see, whether there’s intent for marriage or not, it’s an incredibly deep-rooted common-law relationship♪”

Warren chuckled — and he was the only one to do so.

The other men could not help but sympathize with Bright, who was now holding his head in despair.

The night had only just begun.

Whether it be anguished cries or joyous cheers, the night held more surprises yet.

Indeed, the night was far from over.

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