The Tales of an Infinite Regressor

Chapter 44 – Returnee I

[Translator – Jjsecus]

[Proofreader – Gun]

Chapter 44 – Returnee I

1

Among Awakeneds, there are many eccentrics.

I can’t speak for elsewhere, but among Awakeneds from the Korean Peninsula, the proportion of eccentrics is definitely high. Whether it’s Tang Seorin, who’s serious about witch cosplay, or Cheon Yohwa, who calls her guild a girls’ high school.

But at least they belong to a relatively safe category in that they can communicate in human language.

Today, let’s talk about one of the standout eccentrics among the eccentrics—the Sword Maiden of Yuldo Kingdom.

2

As we’ve seen, the “Wheel Killer” incident was somehow resolved. However, the fact that the Saintess had fallen into corruption itself was a huge shock to me.

It was quite a while since I had suffered such a mental blow.

If I had to find a similar case where I received similar damage, it would be like when I was completely blindsided by a home run from Koyori, whom I thought was a “good person.”

What does that mean?

‘It’s vacation season.’

A scream echoed from the other side of Busan Station’s main hall.

“What the hell are you talking about!”

“Hey.”

Bang!

The sound of a balloon bursting also echoed.

The man who exited the stage faster than anyone else, Seo Gyu, failed.

“Aaaah!”

People screamed and fled in all directions because of the fairy who didn’t understand human hearts. It was a familiar scene.

With this, the birth of SGnet disappeared. In other words, I had abandoned one of the means to control Awakeneds, verbally or non-verbally.

What was I planning?

As for me, Doctor Jang, the regressor, I had no intention of saving the world in this 108th run. Seo Gyu’s failure was just evidence that I was taking a break.

‘Agh, that bastard… He’s too weak when it comes to women.’

Seo Gyu had already betrayed Koyori and sold information about the Saintess.

I could somewhat understand this. Koyori’s mind control beam was so strong. Even I almost fell into a trance and almost ended up drawing an R-rated gore manga out of nowhere.

But last time was different. Now that I thought about it calmly, that little jerk Seo Gyu had definitely been recruited by the Saintess.

He probably played a subtle role in manipulating public opinion on SGnet or stirring up fear about the Wheel Killer.

There was no problem with him cooperating with the Saintess.

The problem was that he kept it hidden from me!

‘What a despicable guy. A treacherous guy. After all I’ve done for him.’

Oh, how I raised you like a precious jewel only to find out that in the end, you valued your relationship with your female colleague more than being grateful to your benefactor and teacher.

For reference, I had a bit of a grudge. How long? Well… roughly 200 years?

When a regressor holds a grudge, instead of a new moon, we get snow, hail, and yellow dust all year round.

Is it unfair that the mistakes of the previous run’s self result in punishment for the next run’s self? Life was inherently unfair. That little brother needed to take a beating for a while to learn his lesson.

Where in the real world would you find a brother like me?

Because Seo Gyu loved Italian-style pizza so much, I went out of my way to save a pizza artisan in Busan and helped set up a shop. My brotherly love was that profound.

‘Seize the pizza!’

That scoundrel Seo Gyu, who dared to disappoint his brother, would have to endure a pizza-less life for the next 200 years, namely during 10 to 15 runs.

Anyway, Seo Gyu got his comeuppance after being caught by a fairy saying “Hey.”

What’s really important is how to make the most of this vacation.

As I sat in a corner of the main hall, planning my vacation, Fairy No. 264 came over.

“What are you doing, human?”

“As you can see, I’m planning my vacation.”

“Vacation?”

“Yeah. Since the world is already doomed, I might as well enjoy some relaxing and meaningful time. If I’m going on vacation, might as well choose a different, unexplored course, right?”

“Heok. You’re insane… Seniors told me not to go near crazy people like you…”

The fairy ran away.

As usual, I farmed silver droplets at the souvenir shop in the main hall and then pondered alone.

Suddenly, the conversation I had with the Saintess in the previous run struck me like lightning.

– Awakeneds all like me!

– No, only 50% of Awakeneds like you, Doctor Jang. It’s just that the majority of the strong ones are among that 50%, and there are also many others among the remaining Awakeneds who have been eyeing you eagerly. Like the Sword Maiden of the Yuldo Kingdom.

The Saintess’s words inadvertently touched my pride.

I, Doctor Jang, a humble regressor, took pride in treating people without prejudice and helping them. Afraid that my personality might become arrogant after many regressions, I deliberately didn’t always use honorifics with people I first met.

If I set my mind to it, I believed not just 50%, but 90%, no, 95% of Awakeneds would like me.

‘Excellent.’

I stood up from my crouched position.

This run, I’ll try to win the heart of the Sword Maiden of Yuldo Kingdom.

The fact that the Sword Maiden was a crazy old man could be clearly seen from his epithet “Sword Maiden.”

For those familiar with martial arts novels, they would know that “Sword Maiden” was a kind of title. And it was a title that only applied to female masters, not male ones.

However, the Sword Maiden in our world was undoubtedly an old man well over sixty, with a nicely grown beard.

Isn’t that a bit odd?

“I am the greatest in the world!”

And this guy, using “I” in the first person, called himself “I.”

Despite calling himself the Sword Maiden, he went around brandishing a sword, but the sword he wielded was actually a fake sword made of aluminum, stolen during a time when a certain swordsmanship school had gone bankrupt.

I believe this perfectly explains why I didn’t get along with the Sword Maiden until the 108th run. He’s truly a crazy old man.

“Furthermore, I am the greatest of all time.”

[PR/N: GOAT grandpa?]

Alright.

Perhaps some of you have already made a judgment like, “Ah, I thought he was crazy, but if you delve into his inner thoughts, he’s surprisingly sane, huh? I know.”

[Translator – Jjsecus]

[Proofreader – Gun]

If so, I’m sorry to bring you some sad news. You have absolutely no talent as a mind reader.

A true madman’s cosplay is different from this one. Digging into his inner thoughts is like getting closer and closer to a radiation exposure site, increasing the level of madness.

“Lastly, I am the Sword Maiden of Yuldo Kingdom!”

“What’s Yuldo Kingdom?”

“Oh, you don’t know Yuldo Kingdom? Ohoho. It’s the land of justice. It was a nation founded by His Majesty, who rose up against the tyranny of those damned Yeonggilli.”

Later, I found out that the real name of Yuldo Kingdom was the “Shirand Kingdom,” a micronation.

How this old man discovered some fateful intersection between “Shirand” in English and “Yuldo Kingdom” in Korean, even I, who speaks eight languages, have no idea. Maybe if you ask the laborers at the Tower of Babel construction site, they wouldn’t know either.

By the way, Shirand… I mean, Yuldo Kingdom, wasn’t a democracy; it was a hereditary monarchy. There was even a strict caste system. It seemed a bit behind the global trends and fashions.

Furthermore, the government of Yuldo Kingdom learned its philosophy of governing from the Romance of the Three Kingdoms.

During the era of the Romance of the Three Kingdoms, there was a monarch in the Han dynasty named Emperor Wu of Han. This ruler, commonly known as the “Enlightened Emperor,” was a progressive leader who was ahead of his time.

Even 1,700 years before the Wealth of Nations was published in England, Emperor Wu of Han had already grasped the principles of capitalism.

– The country is my property. Therefore, government positions are also my private property.

“If you want to borrow someone else’s property, shouldn’t you show proper respect?”

The Emperor firmly rejected the custom of establishing government positions based on blood ties, instead opting for a belief unique in this world: that money, rather than lineage, determined one’s position.

This reform-minded ruler not only sold high-ranking positions for exorbitant prices but also created a system allowing commoners to pay in installments, considering the immediate cash needs of the lower class. Contrary to convention, the seed of capitalism flourished in the East before the West.

Although Yu Gwang’s reforms ended in failure, they later inspired countless revolutionaries.

Even the birthplace of capitalism, England, could not escape this influence.

At the end of the 20th century, a British man set out to found a nation in a remote area. He learned the wisdom of governing a country from ancient sages.

“Wouldn’t selling noble titles help the country’s finances?”

Indeed, there could not help but be a reversal of fortunes, a shift from the East to the West.

This British man went one step further than his predecessors, opening the gates not only to his own citizens but to people worldwide. He understood well that there should be no borders or nationalities when it came to money.

The power of open borders also reached South Korea, far away from England. And the protagonist of this story, the Sword Maiden, became a major player in this endeavor.

For a hefty sum of 70,000 won, totaling 250,000 won with various options, he purchased the title of Viscount in the Yuldo Kingdom. It was a triumphant moment for a Korean to reclaim the noble titles that had officially disappeared since the fall of the Korean Empire.

The old man proudly lifted his nose.

“From now on, call me the ‘Sword Gentleman.'”

Because he liked martial arts novels, hence ‘sword.’ And since he was a viscount, ‘gentleman.’

Although his naming sense was crazy, the tragedy didn’t end there.

While humanity was divided by race and nationality, monsters treated their Korean compatriots equally. When Seoul disappeared in Korea, East Anglia vanished entirely in England.

Naturally, neighboring micronations could not have remained unscathed. Yuldo Kingdom, boasting a population of four, disappeared, leaving behind only a page in history.

By the way, it became the country with the shortest lifespan to collapse after the Gate Incident.

“I can’t believe it! The homeland has collapsed!”

The old man swallowed his sorrow.

If he had fallen here, he would have been nothing more than a third-rate. But the old man stood up. A single tear was enough for a man dedicated to his fallen country.

“From now on, I will continue to maintain Yuldo Kingdom!”

The country with the shortest lifespan also experienced the shortest-lived revival movement.

“But how can I, in all conscience, claim the title of Grand Duke, considering the grace of His Majesty? I will only claim a title inferior to that of a grand duke or marquis. From now on, call me the ‘Sword Maiden!'”

Indeed.

The Chinese characters for “Sword Maiden” surprisingly meant “the one after the sword.”

The case of skipping from a viscount directly to a marquis and appointing someone as a marquis without passing through the ranks of earl was rare even in the Yul Nation. That’s because the traditional Yul Nation didn’t have the position of marquis.

Naturally, the official name of the New Yul Nation also changed to ‘Yul Marquisate’, a country ruled by a marquis. Of course, there was no one else but the marquis himself who claimed to be a citizen of this backward country.

If you’ve heard the background story of how the marquis came into being, any sensible person would think, “If I get too close to that old man, my home address might end up being moved to a mental hospital.”

But surprisingly, the marquis survived. Even in this chaotic era where the world is on the brink of destruction and monsters rampage, he steadfastly preserved himself. Instead of being isolated in a mental hospital, awakening individuals were in a frenzy because they couldn’t capture the marquis.

Could it be that the marquis was a master of swords as his name literally suggests?

The answer is NO.

The marquis didn’t know how to wield a sword. How well could a fashionista swordsman fight with a wooden sword he carries around?

I guarantee you that an elementary school student who just received a yellow belt at a martial arts dojo would display more skill than the marquis.

The survival strategy of the marquis unexpectedly worked in a completely different field.

“Um, elder.”

“……”

“……”

“…Marquis.”

“Oh, aren’t you a disciple of Murim? What brings you here?”

“I’m here to inquire about how this spring’s crops are progressing…”

“I know! Farming requires dedication and care. I’m sure I’m cultivating them well enough, so why are you bothering to monitor me?”

“No, not monitoring, but…”

“I know! Young disciples talk too much! If you keep bothering me, your guild might cut off your food supply altogether!”

Behind the shouting marquis, golden wheat fields stretched out.

The marquis’s ability was [Plant Growth].

Regardless of climate, land, or water quality, he could grow crops to an extraordinary extent and accelerate their growth rate by up to three to six times, a miraculous SSS-level ability.

Because of this, the marquis evolved from being known as the ‘crazy old man’ to the ‘old man who absolutely no one could touch or complain about.’

“You know, if I set my mind to it, the disciples’ stomachs would all be bursting! Want a taste of my power?”

“……”

The marquis.

Unfortunately for the awakening individuals of Korea… this crazy old man was the only source of food left on the peninsula after civilization collapsed.

[Translator – Jjsecus]

[Proofreader – Gun]