Vaudevillain

Chapter 129: Giger's Got Nothing on This Guy

Fleshgrabber took a breath behind the massive machine he hid behind. This hero he was fighting had a lot of flexibility, unlike the villain. The ability to conjure an arsenal of weapons and shields made it extremely hard to get close, which Fleshgrabber needed to do to win the fight.

The villain placed his right hand over his left, changing the whip hand back to normal. He left the other as a whip since it seemed to creep the hero out. Fleshgrabber reflexively tested the arm and hand, even though he knew that nothing was wrong with it. He still couldn't get over the odd feeling losing a hand gave him.

With his free hand, Fleshgrabber pulled a grenade out of his inventory and pulled the pin with his teeth. He sat for a second, letting the explosive cook in his hand, then tossed the device over the machine to where Lill stood.

"Oh sh*t," the hero said.

Lill mimed a wall in front of him and dove behind a box to his left. The grenade bounced against the wall, exploding seconds later and drilling its shrapnel into the wall. The force of the blow bent the wall inward, and it snapped under the pressure. The conjured bricks clattered against the ground, then disappeared altogether.

Fleshgrabber leaped over his piece of cover and made a beeline for Lill'Personator once the explosion rocked his ears. He raised his whip hand in the air, ready to bring it down as soon as he saw his foe. A few steps into his dash, Fleshgrabber reached into his inventory again and pulled out another grenade, which he tossed into the air without priming. It landed behind the stack of crates Lill had jumped behind.

"F*ck!" the hero yelled.

Lill sprang over the boxes, miming a shield behind him to block the explosive he thought was coming. When nothing came, he realized his mistake. But it was too late; Fleshgrabber was already in range with his whip. Bone raked across Lill'Personators back, scraping away the hero's health and making him wince.

"Did you seriously hit me with your disgusting arm!" the hero shouted.

Fleshgrabber didn't answer, reaching out with an arm to grab Lill. The hero swung with his fist, creating a shimmering club that cracked against Fleshgrabber's shoulder. The villain winced but continued his attack, latching onto Lill'Personater's arm. His target acquired, Fleshgrabber squeezed Lill's arm once.

Suddenly, the hero's arm twisted like a pretzel, turning into a lumpy ball of flesh at the end of his shoulder.

"F*cking Christ on a cracker! What the f*ck!" Lill yelled. "What the f*ck did you do to my arm!"

Fleshgrabber only flexed his fingers and dove towards the hero again. But Lill wasn't going to let the villain perform the same trick twice. Still cursing, he jumped away from Fleshgrabber, miming throwing a javelin at the same time. The attack landed in the villain's whip of flesh, slicing through a few tendrils. Fleshgrabber winced but continued his charge.

"Would you get the f*ck away already!" Lill yelled. Desperate, the hero mimed one of his deadlier attacks. Lill mimed pulling a grenade pin out with his teeth and tossed the conjured item at Fleshgrabber.

Seeing the danger coming his way, Fleshgrabber rolled to the side and whipped bone shards at the grenade in an attempt to send it flying. A fragment struck the grenade, sending it careening off in the distance where it exploded on top of a machine extruding hard candy. Boiling sugar spilled out of the device, landing on some boxes nearby.

Lill continued cursing, thoroughly creeped out by Fleshgrabber's power. It didn't help that the player he was facing stayed silent like a monster in a horror movie. But the hero wasn't going to let this foe get the best of him, and he took deep breaths to recover from the shock. Lill'Personator exhaled and created a spear in his hands, pointing it at Fleshgrabber.

"Okay," Lill said. "Come and get me."

Fleshgrabber smirked, which turned his face upward in all the wrong ways, and pulled out another grenade. Lill immediately charged, knowing that things would get too difficult for him if he had to deal with explosions. Instead, the hero decided to trust in his conjured weapons.

Both players still had around the same amount of hitpoints, with Fleshgrabber winning out by a small margin. The villain knew it too. So Fleshgrabber decided to go for a sacrificial approach. Like the Chinese proverb, he would give flesh to break bone.

Lill figured he was the one with lower health and decided to use long-range weapons like the spear. If he could keep Fleshgrabber in range of the spear and keep himself out of the range of a grenade, he could win. Steeling himself, Lill'Personator charged forward.

Fleshgrabber met the charge with one of his own, barely bothering to avoid the spear strike. Lill's spear landed in the villain's side, and Fleshgrabber returned fire with a whip of bone. The two players winced as their health dropped again, Lill getting the better of the trade this time. But as the hero tried to remove his weapon, he found it stuck. Fleshgrabber had formed his body around the spear, meaning Lill had to create something new.

Lill released his weapon, conjuring a shield to block Fleshgrabber's next attack. The plinking of bone against metal rang against Lill's ears, but he successfully stopped the strike. Fleshgrabber stepped in again, trying to get into whip range. Lill responded by creating a finger gun and miming a shot. The crack of gunfire rang out, and Fleshgrabber winced as a bullet entered his shoulder.

Knowing he couldn't wait, the villain crouched and jumped forward in a last-ditch attempt to reach Lill. In turn, the hero attempted to aim his pistol at the diving villain while he backed up. The sound of gunfire again echoed through the factory as Lill unleashed shot after shot to hit his foe. But the bullets only grazed the back of Fleshgrabber's legs.

Lill backpedaled again, escaping the range of Fleshgrabber's leap, or so he assumed. Unknown to him, while the villain crouched, he changed his legs to extend as he jumped, giving him a bit more power than Lill expected. The hero paled as Fleshgrabber shot forward, connecting with Lill's torso.

"Got you," the villain said.

"Don't you dare use that H.R. Giger sh*t on me!" Lill said. "I ain't into that."

The villain ignored the hero's ravings, instead placing a hand over Lill's torso.

"Fine!" Lill said. "But I ain't going down alone."

Before Fleshgrabber could react, Lill mimed pulling a grenade pin. An ethereal grenade appeared in the hero's hands, and Lill immediately pulled the villain into a hug. Fleshgrabber, realizing what Lill was trying, tried to hasten his attack. If he could defeat the hero before the grenade went off, he would win the fight.

Lill winced as he felt something sting his torso, then his stomach. He knew Fleshgrabber was messing with his body but did his best to keep his mind on other things, like how colorful the ceiling was. He was not going to think about how he must look with the villain using his power.

A second later, Fleshgrabber smiled as he saw the screen for defeating enemies pop up.

For defeating an enemy hero, you have gained reputation! Your current rank is B. You will reach rank A in 8 more escapade(s).

Lill's grenade went off half a step later, depleting all of Fleshgrabber's health. The villain respawned a good distance from Bumbo's candy factory, next to a corner store.

"D*mn it," Fleshgrabber cursed. There went five minutes of time.

Lill respawned outside a fast food store on the side of the road. A screen sitting in front of his face.

For beating another player in combat and protecting the peace, you have been granted reputation! Your current reputation is now B. Your reputation will increase to A after 12 more escapade(s).

Lill first checked his body. Nothing was out of place, and his twisted arm was back where it should be. Then he read the message.

"Ha! Take that!"

"Cass! Remind me to grab that villain if we ever need someone to remodel a face," Dr. Zlo said.

"You sure, boss? He seems a little creepy."

"He is a villain, Cass. He's allowed to be creepy."

"Alright, boss."

Mabel took a sip of her tea, "I hope you aren't thinking someone here needs a facelift, hon."

"Of course not, Mabel," Dr. Zlo answered. "I only say it because we might need to hide our faces one day, and a disguise that completely alters our features is better than makeup."

"Sure, hon. Don't come crying to me when your perfect face gets all bent out of shape."

"Mabel, you know I would build a face arranger if my own dastardly good looks were ever lost."

"Mmhm," Mabel answered. "I don't doubt that, hon."

"But isn't this exciting!" Dr. Zlo said. "All these people want to join us to take on the gods of the game! Just think of all the schemes and heists we can pull off! Not to mention all the heroes that will join that we can corrupt!"

"It does sound fun, boss," Cass said.

"As long as some of them are attractive, I don't mind who they are," Mabel replied.

"I'm getting all sorts of ideas," Dr. Zlo said. "We'll hold a race through the downtown area, breaking anything that gets in our way! And we'll kidnap some of the world leaders to hold a mustache contest! The sky's the limit!"

"Let's focus on finishing this scheme, hon," Mabel said. She signaled Suitor for more tea, and the man stiffly poured out another cup.

"Quite right," Dr. Zlo responded. "Let's see Riptide's bit is still going on. The call to stop the heroes from disarming the bomb collected everyone near the beach. Haven's turned into a merry chase around the city. Shizuka really knows how to get on people's nerves. And of course, Sweet Dream and Titan are about to face off mano a womano to decide the fate of Thenapolis!"

Dr. Zlo looked over at his screen again, "But first, let's see how this other hero fight plays out. I want to see which of these two villains has the right stuff."