Vaudevillain

Chapter 132: Life In The Fastlane

Thenapolis was not a quiet city, though the noise was mostly attributed to its size. In fact, it would be more impressive to see a town of Thenapolis's size without sound. Officer Maloney of the Thenapolis Police Department, or TPD, had always wondered what a silent city would sound like, but he wasn't anywhere close to that today.

A new villain had appeared in the city, announcing himself through every speaker or form of communication not secured to the heroes guild's AI scramblers. This Dr. Zlo then went on to reveal a terrorist plot to destroy the city, roping in heroes and villains alike. Criminals Maloney had never even heard of emerged from the woodwork like angry termites, biting into anything they could get their hands on. The heroes guild, the TPD, and even the vigilante neighborhood watches were all called together to lock down this threat.

It wasn't helping. Despite everyone's efforts, the villains were still causing all sorts of trouble, and the unregistered heroes were making it worse. Only a few of them tried to work with local law enforcement. The rest only cared about taking out villains as fast as possible.

It caused all sorts of collateral damage. The rampaging villains ransacked people's homes, local businesses, and even a few cultural landmarks. It made for the loudest night Officer Maloney had ever heard. And he'd experienced a lot of nights in his thirty years on the force.

The policeman's speaker crackled to life.

"All units be advised, we have a code 150 in progress at Bumbo's."

Maloney grabbed the receiver on his radio and responded. "This is Officer Maloney. I'm en route."

"Roger, Officer. Be advised there are multiple powereds on scene."

"Understood."

Maloney switched on his siren, letting the blaring noise push the other cars out of the way. As he sped his patrol car to the candy store, Maloney wondered what type of criminal went after a candy factory instead of the usual targets. It had to be some truly messed up criminal to skip over the banks.

Maloney swung his car to the right, merging onto the main street leading to Bumbo's. He brought his vehicle into the factory parking lot, then immediately slammed it into reverse. A flame-decaled, black as night, and utterly dieselpunk semi-truck was bearing down on his car. Maloney's patrol car squealed in protest, getting out of the way right as the eighteen-wheeler flew out of the lot.

"Jesus Christ!" Maloney yelled.

More trucks followed behind the menacing vehicle, forming a line as they raced down the street. Groups of supers ran by Maloney as he spun his car around, a few launching themselves into the air to land on the trucks.

"Multiple supers leaving Bumbo's!" Maloney yelled into his radio. He slammed on the gas to follow behind the raging semis, blaring his siren the whole time. "The lead driver is in a large semi-truck, painted black and with flame decals. Unknown supers are standing on top of the semis. I think they're fighting!"

As soon as Maloney finished, his radio crackled to life, "Roger officer. Stay in pursuit but do not engage. The heroes guild is on its way."

"Understood," Maloney answered, pulling up behind the trucks in chase. He winced as one of the supers flew off the semi and crashed into a billboard sign overhead.

"Supers," the man grumbled.

The wind rushed through Sweet Dream's hair despite being in chocolate form, which puzzled her. Vert could recreate an entire world with painstaking detail, yet her chocolate form didn't act as her body. She chalked it up to a bug low on the priority list. Something like the wind hitting her real body wasn't as important as other issues.

Sweet Dream centered herself on the top of Bart's truck. Thinking about bugs could wait; right now, she had to face Titan. The muscular hero stood near the back of the semi-truck, his stance low to deal with the buffeting winds. The rest of their respective crews were on the other truck, fighting for control of the vehicle. Things were at a stalemate at the moment. Duchess Krampelle's shadow minions kept the heroes occupied, but the woman in the flowing dress kept running circles around the others.

Sweet Dream smiled. Things might not be perfect, but they were in her favor. Titan couldn't fight her without a weapon since her power would reach him if he came too close. All he could do was try to whittle down her chocolate reserves, but it wasn't like the hero could afford to wait. Once Sweet Dream reached the coast, she could "activate" her power and start the bomb countdown. He'd have to take a risk.

The sounds of blaring sirens reached Sweet Dream's ears, and the woman looked behind the truck to see a lone patrol car following. Titan tried to use the distraction to advance, but Sweet Dream wasn't that distracted. She quickly raised her arm to prepare a glob of chocolate, forcing Titan to stop.

"Looks like we're playing a waiting game," Titan said.

"Looks like," Sweet Dream said.

The two stared each other down, Titan waiting for an opening while Sweet Dream stood ready once something changed. More patrol cars joined the first as Bart sped down the street, doggedly sticking to the semi's heels. The pack brought more and more attention as it passed denser and denser portions of the city until Bart had at least twenty patrol cars behind him.

"Not much longer!" the villain yelled to Sweet Dream. "In a few minutes, we'll hit theSh*t! Roadblock! Hold on!"

Bart swerved his truck to the side, jumping his left tires onto the sidewalk. Sweet Dream and Titan flattened themselves as it turned to keep themselves stable. The eighteen-wheeler screeched in protest from the hard turn and scraped the walls of passing storefronts. The police weren't prepared for the sudden shift and dove out of the way as Bart raced past. However, a hero working with the TPD had stationed himself near the blockade and quickly leaped onto the truck.

Sweet Dream immediately fired a blast of chocolate at the hero, but the man brought a round, bronze shield to bear and blocked the attack. Chocolate dripped off the shield as the hero landed.

"I am Leonidas! Hero of Thenapolis and slayer of the great beast! Fall before my spear!"

Leonidas pointed his short spear at Sweet Dream and charged. The villainess reacted with two shots of chocolate, but the hero brought his shield up to receive the blows.

"Just what I f*ckin' needed," Sweet Dream cursed. Of all the heroes to get, she got one with a giant shield. At least the spear wasn't anything to worry about.

Leonidas reared his arm back and stabbed Sweet Dream, who accepted the blow. A wince of pain followed, and Caroline blinked in surprise as her character's health dropped. She looked down to see the hero's spear glowing with pale yellow light.

"None can hope to stand against Troma!" the hero declared.

Sweet Dream swiped at him with a cocoa fist in retaliation. Leonidas brought his shield up again, stabbing out with his spear another time. Sweet Dream hopped back from the strike and flicked a hand outward, raining chocolate on the enemy.

Leonidas prepared to accept the attack, but Titan grabbed the hero and pulled him out of the way.

"Who dares!" Leonidas commanded.

"I dare!" Titan replied. "Her power puts you into a drugged haze if you touch the chocolate! You were about to fall under her spell!"

Leonidas whipped his head around to Sweet Dream, "You dare try to control the King of the Spartans?"

Sweet Dream spat a glob of chocolate in Leonidas's direction and glared at Titan. "I almost had him," she complained to the hero.

"I can't let you take out my chance of success," Titan replied.

"Do not ignore me, wench!" Leonidas yelled, charging at Sweet Dream once more.

"Oh, he did not just call me that!" Sweet Dream roared.

The villainess ran forward to meet the charge, slamming into Leonidas's shield with two massive fists. Chocolate sprayed over the bronze protector, splattering all across the floor. Titan tried to follow up, but Sweet Dream whipped a hand around and shot a glob of cocoa in his direction.

"You sit there until I deal with this f*ck," Sweet Dream commanded. "He needs to learn that I am a Queen."

"I won't rest until you're behind bars," Titan responded.

Sweet Dream glanced over at him, dodging another thrust from Leonidas's spear. "Then come and get me."

Titan bent low and rushed at Sweet Dream, making sure to put Leonidas between him and his foe. Leonidas kept the villainess's attention, thrusting with his spear while staying behind his shield. At the last moment, Titan sprang from the side and shoved Leonidas's shield into Sweet Dream. The strike sent the woman flying a few feet, and she stumbled at the front of the truck as she landed.

"Face the wrath of Sparta!" Leonidas yelled. He charged forward, spear aimed for Sweet Dream's heart and shield covering Leonidas's body.

Sweet Dream watched the man rush forward, making sure to keep Titan in vision this time. Sure enough, the hero was running in after Leonidas, keeping on the man's left side where he held the shield. With nowhere else to go, Sweet Dream made it look like she was preparing to meet the charge and ran forward with a yell. At the last second, she shifted back to her primary form and slid on the ground.

Unprepared, Leonidas watched in surprise as the mud monster he was facing changed to a cutesy woman dressed in black licorice and chocolate. He gaped as she slid between his legs, coming up behind him. Titan froze in surprise as well, completely forgetting his foe had an original form.

The moment was all it took for Sweet Dream to change back and slap the Spartan hero in the face. Leonidas fell to the ground instantly as the candy queen's chocolate did its work.

"Phew," Sweet Dream said, pretending to wipe the sweat off her brow. "That's one down. Ready for round two?"