Vaudevillain

Chapter 150: The Air Out of His Sails

Suitor started the brawl by grabbing the Trollstomper's sword and yanking it out of the man's grasp. The player let it happen, pulling a deadlier weapon from his inventory. The Jacques all rushed forward with their oversized weapons, swinging like a man possessed. The Trollstomper didn't even bat an eyelash as he twirled in turn, his sword slicing through the Jacques's comical clubs.

The Jacques all paused in their assault, looking between each other after the Trollstomper's response. Then, as one, the Jacques turned and ran behind Suitor. The one closest to the mutant whipped out a towel and started wiping the man's shoulders. A second Jacques grabbed Suitor's shoulders and started kneading, doing its best to massage the man's muscles. A third Jacques pulled a water bottle out of its suit jacket and stuck it in front of Suitor while a fourth started to mime a pep talk for the mutant.

The Trollstomper paused, staring incredulously as the Jacques punched the air and kicked his feet back and forth like a boxing trainer motivating their charge. The rest of the Jacques behind Suitor acted like a crowd, cheering and throwing popcorn and peanuts onto the walkway. Mabel stood to the side, letting the whole pantomime play through. It was the perfect distraction for her, and the southern belle used the time to prepare her purse and get into position.

Eventually, the Trollstomper had enough. The player brought his sword to bear one more time, shifting back into his misty form as his blade sliced through the air. At the last second, the Trollstomper reverted his sword, letting the edge bite into Suitor's tuxedo. The fancy duds fell to pieces under the player's assault, sending the Jacques around Suitor back in terror.

Despite the Trollstomper's assault, the only thing to come to harm near Suitor was his tuxedo. As the player cut at the NPC, more and more of the man's garment fell away, revealing a body of diamond abs and steel pecs. Mabel waggled her eyebrows at the sight, making Suitor's eyes grow three sizes.

"Hon, I think you need to wrassle that swordsman," the woman said.

Nodding, Suitor rushed forward, a wall of muscle coming to crush the Trollstomper between his arms. However, the player was still in mist form and easily escaped Suitor's clumsy grabs. The Trollstomper slipped through Suitor's fingers as he went for a grab, dispersing through the mutant to reemerge on the other side. The Trollstomper threw his sword shortly after, pulling out a small tube afterward.

The player flicked a button on the tube, ejecting a gout of plasma that formed a thin rapier. Mabel frowned at the sight. She didn't know if Suitor could take something like that.

"Hon, I think you best get ready to do some dodging," Mabel told her man.

At Mabel's command, Suitor hopped on the balls of his feet, bouncing up and down like Bruce Lee.

Mabel then turned to the Jacques, "And I don't expect y'all to stand there and cheer us on. Get off your high horses and come fight already."

The Jacques around Mabel stiffened. A second later, the group formed ranks and marched down the walkway toward the fight. Arms swung like pendulums, and their rhythmic cadence shook the entire bridge. The Trollstomper held steady, his misty legs dispersing and reappearing as the catwalk shook. However, the player did have to time their movement to their legs reforming, something Mabel immediately took note of.

As the Jacques reached melee range, the front line dove on top of the Trollstomper, attempting to tackle the enemy. Jacques after Jacques dove onto the catwalk, burying each other in a dogpile. As expected, the player dispersed around the crowd, reforming on top of the minions and stabbing his sword down. A bit of the pile vanished, leaving behind various clothes and mannequin pieces.

"Try to grab his sword," Mabel told the Jacques. She then brought her purse up, aiming the weapon at the Trollstomper.

A high-pitch whine echoed across the Zloppelin as Mabel's purse sent a pulse of sound that shook the very air. At the same time, Jacques dove onto the Trollstomper's sword, attempting to pry it free. The player stayed in his mist form, flowing around the Jacques like water. Then, Mabel's soundwave hit. The pulse pushed the Trollstomper's mist every which way, dispersing the player so thinly that Mabel couldn't even see a silhouette.

The Jacques slowly stood after the strike, moving their heads around every which way in an attempt to locate their target. Mabel let them continue on their antics, prepping another blast with her purse and ordering Suitor to stand near her. Dr. Zlo's smartest minion didn't think the fight was over, not by a longshot.

The sight of a murky cloud coalescing on the walkway confirmed Mabel's hypothesis. The Trollstomper appeared in a flash, his plasma sword igniting the air around it and burning a deep violet. The Jacques, noticing the emergence of their foe, quickly rushed toward him, all semblance of order gone. The Trollstomper dispatched the minions with ease, slicing through them like butter with his blade.

Mabel frowned in concentration, unleashing another blast of sound to buy more time. Suitor stood dutifully in front of the woman, protecting Mabel from any possible attacks that the Trollstomper might have. A hiss joined the sonic attack, and Suitor performed his duty. A plasma knife sank into the NPC's shoulder, marring the mutant's pristine skin.

"Now, I can't have you mucking up my fine specimen," Mabel said as her attack dispersed her foe once again.

While the Trollstomper got it together, Mabel scanned the battlefield. Taking out an enemy like this would be difficult with the equipment she had on hand. On the other hand, her sonic purse would keep the player in a constant state of reforming. She could keep this stalemate up forever, but tying herself down to just one man sounded terribly dreadful. Therefore, Mabel decided to search for a solution.

The minion's eyes rested on the engines sitting at the far back of the Zloppelin. The propulsion system on Dr. Zlo's dirigible wasn't anything fancya few electric powered propellors tied to a simple rudder was all that the Zloppelin had for movementbut it looked strong enough to pull a cloud of mist out of the ship.

Mabel turned to Suitor, "Hon, I need you to take me over to the engines. And Jacques? I need you to cover our movement. Try to grab the man's flight pack if you can. We don't want him returning after we throw him out."

The Jacques saluted in unison, forming a circle around Suitor and linking arms.

"I'm glad you're all so eager," Mabel said. "But I think your protection would serve better if'n you focused on attacking our misty enemy."

The Jacques all looked at one another. Then, one in the circle unlinked arms and started to push a fellow Jacques toward the enemy. The pushed Jacques, not wanting to be first, slipped behind the one pushing and started to shove. This brought on a chain of shoving, where unlucky Jacques would get forced to meet with the Trollstomper when he appeared.

Mabel let the antics happen, directing Suitor to pick her up. The large mutant scooped Mabel up and placed her on his unhurt shoulder, taking her to the engines. The Trollstomper reformed a few moments later, carving through a few Jacques as they pounced on him. The player slipped past a few more, taking out some Jacques at the end of the pushing line in the process.

Mabel fired another blast from her sonic purse, but this time the Trollstomper grabbed a nearby Jacques and pulled him in front. The sonic purse's attack washed over the Jacques, taking the minion out but keeping the player safe. Other Jacques recoiled from the cruel move, a few making cross signs with their hands to mourn their brethren's passing.

"Best get moving, hon," Mabel said to Suitor.

The minion charged up another blast with her purse, prepping herself for incoming attacks. Sure enough, a flash of orange flew from the Trollstomper's hand toward Mabel. The minion rolled off Suitor, letting the plasma knife sail overhead. Mabel returned the attack with one of her own, tossing a booze grenade she'd filched from Cass the other day. The canister exploded, filling the air with the smell of hops.

However, the smell was short-lived as the Trollstomper's plasma sword ignited the liquor wafting through the air. Orange flames erupted around the Trollstomper, forcing the player to shift into mist once more. The player's reformation gave Mabel enough time to reach the engines, and the minion wasted no time directing her troops for setup.

"Jacques, be dears and wait around the edges here, please. And Suitor, I need you to pry the covering off this here propellor. We're going to send this man on a trip through the skies."

Suitor bent low and thrust his hands into the seams between the engines. The mutant's hands molded the metal like putty, pulling a panel free and exposing the spinning propellor. Air whooshed outward, drawn by the Zloppelin's engine. Jacques all around started to thrust their arms out and pretended to fly.

The Trollstomper reformed in the middle of the ruckus, immediately understanding what his foe was trying. The problem was, the player couldn't see any way around the trap. Mabel's sonic purse, combined with Suitor's natural strength, limited the man's options.

"Guess I gotta git gud," the player said.

As soon as he reformed, the Trollstomper leaped forward, bringing his plasma sword to bear at Suitor. The mutant NPC juked to the left, returning the attack with a left hook. Instead of forming into mist, the Trollstomper rolled out of the way, springing up near Suitor's legs. The man swung his blade at the NPC's leg, trying to cripple the strongman.

"Jump for me, hon," Mabel said to her man.

Suitor immediately sprang into the air, dodging the Trollstomper's attack and shaking the walkway as he landed. The player tried to respond with another swipe, but a Jacques came in from behind and clocked the man over the head. The Trollstomped winced as his health dropped a few points.

However, the Jacques's distraction allowed Suitor to recover, and the mutant immediately shot two quick jabs at the Trollstomper's face. The player weaved around the blows, trying to bring his sword up to cut into one of Suitor's arms. But a Jacques had dived to the ground to grab the player's hand, stopping the strike at the cost of the minion's life.

The Trollstomper tried to curse but found his words cut short when Suitor brought their right hand in for an uppercut. The blow rang the Trollstomper like a bell, taking off seventy-five percent of the player's hitpoints and forcing the player's vision to the sky. The man tried to recover by backpedaling, but a Jacques entered the fray and tackled the player back toward Suitor.

The Trollstomper cursed as the muscular mutant brought their left fist around in a haymaker, sending the player shooting over the walkway as his health dropped to zero. In a flash, the man disappeared, leaving Mabel alone with Suitor and two remaining Jacques.

"Good work, boys," Mabel said. "Now come here so momma can give ya a kiss."