When Immortal Ascension Fails Time Travel to Try Again

Story 6 - Slapping Faces and Entering Sects (6)

Several hours later (after we had signed a contract and had a long conversation) I said, “Don’t underestimate less expensive ingredients either! For an information device, you want to get it into as many hands as possible. The more cultivators who use it, the more information you can gather. And in order to do that you need to make it as inexpensive to produce as possible.”

I briefly remembered all the smartphones in my past-past life. When I looked up from my reverie, I noticed the look on Black Jade’s face. It was like he might go insane if he didn’t go into closed-door cultivation immediately.

“I’ll remember that! I... I have a lot to meditate over. Thank you for an illuminating conversation, Little Fairy Lin.”

Despite the difference in our cultivation levels, he bowed to me, then rushed off. Welp. I wouldn’t see him for a couple of years. Which was fine.

After living in this world for a thousand years, my concept of time had expanded to where needing to spend a few decades in meditation to contemplate the Dao sounded absolutely reasonable. Of course, that was only after one reached a certain level.

While I needed information about the changes I’d brought to the timeline, I didn’t need it right away.

To me, as long as I had some information within the next 10-20 years, it would be acceptable. Hell, even 50 years would do. By that point, my interference in this timeline would become very noticeable. I was super fascinated to see the changes!

Of course, now that I set up plans for information gathering in the future, it was time to think about immediate concerns. I had an entrance test to pass, and I wasn’t going to take it lightly.

Not when we were limited to the second layer of Qi Condensation.

This required training. So, I decided it would be best to focus on our physical bodies.

My Dao was Unlimited. That obviously meant that my path had no limits.

... Well, I refused to learn immortal cooking. That didn’t mean that I couldn’t. If I wanted to. Which I didn’t. But that’s beside the point.

The point of having an Unlimited Dao was that I could do something that was considered absolutely insane. By me. Which was body cultivation.

In this world, a cultivator had one main path. For me, it was regular spiritual cultivation. That was how I would reach immortality.

But having a main path did not mean that I couldn’t dabble in others. One example was how I practiced the sword. Another would be what I planned to do, increasing the strength and survivability of my body by practicing body cultivation.

There were several reasons I decided on this.

First, while I trusted I could beat any of those little brats (even with a handicap), I didn’t trust everyone to play nice. I wanted insurance that I wouldn’t die. And since Little Spring’s space was still off-limits as it upgraded, I couldn’t count on it being our trump card during the event.

Second, I never cultivated my body in my last life (mostly because the process was too fucking expensive).

That said, I researched the lower levels of it during the decade I spent helping an acquaintance of mine develop several superior baths and pills for her disciples. It took a lot of research and a few failed attempts, but I eventually succeeded. I created a series of steps that worked significantly better than anything else I’d seen. And it wouldn’t kill someone from the pain they had to endure!

It was very successful!

Many of her disciples would yell my name with joy... and definitely not with seething hatred and an eye towards revenge.

There was another reason I wanted to go through this craziness. I couldn’t help but consider that if I had only done some body cultivation in my last life, I could have survived long enough to strangle that idiotic shit donkey, Bloodsword, so we both died from tribulation lightning... I mean, perhaps I would have lasted long enough for us to pool our resources together and ascend (or escape).

So, to protect myself in the future, I decided to do something crazy. Body cultivation. And the easiest way to start this expensive process was to soak in horribly painful baths that made torture look fun.

Because that was what body cultivators did...

I grimaced.

Seriously, fuck all bad Xianxia authors! And this one in particular!

How fun would it be if I made it to the God realm — or whatever was beyond Immortality — ripped open the fabric of reality and punched the author right where it hurt most?

I sighed deeply. That was unlikely to happen.

Whatever.

I glanced at Little Spring, who tugged at my sleeve to get me to leave the room.

I could put him through body cultivation too... No. Not now, anyway. He was still too young.

Maybe once he became an annoying teenager, I’d suggest this to help him become stronger in body and mind. Hehehe.

Besides, at this point, it was better to have him focus on things he already knew. He should train those to perfection first before he learned new things. After all, the kid cultivated too quickly. His basics weren’t up to par for his level. If anything, having him master the basics for the next two months could only help him when he was forced into becoming a weak chicken.

Speeding ever forward was not always the best path. Sometimes, taking a step back and starting over could help make a person stronger.

Just like how — after I traveled back in time — I now had the chance to make my foundation perfect. If I kept looking at this as an opportunity, then living through this time all over again wasn’t so bad.

My heart lightened, and the world seemed a little clearer.

Keeping this mindset could help me build my perfect foundation. One without the tiniest crack.

My lips quirked up.

“Fairy Lin?” Little Spring looked at me cautiously. “We should get going. We’re blocking the hallway.”

I looked up. Several furious guild employees glared at me, telling me with their eyes that I was blocking the way and it was time for me to move.

Fuck. Whatever. I was having a breakthrough with my mentality! It was important and they could wait. Still, I apologized and dragged Little Spring and the Reds back to our rented courtyard.

It was time for a montage!

Or at least it would be if this was a movie and not the reality I lived in.

***

I spent the next three days making and selling pills, as well as healing the Reds up to perfection. Even their scars and old aches from past poorly healed wounds vanished once I finished.

Next, I gave them a small pile of spirit stones and a training schedule to put Little Spring through his paces for the next several weeks. I had my own plan, which didn’t include supervising the little main character.

Also, I knew what I would look like during this process. It wouldn’t be good to let the kid see me like that.

There was a slight chance I would need help. And since I couldn’t get Little Spring to help me, I grabbed the only free person around here, Ghosty McGhostface.

I threw his necklace onto a small table.

A very solid-looking illusion of a middle-aged man came out of the pendant and sputtered. “Could you be nicer to my soul stone! I could die if it gets cracked, you know!”

I crossed my arms. “Your idiocy almost caused Little Spring to lose his life or become corrupted. You’re lucky I didn’t wipe your soul out of existence for that little stunt you pulled.”

At least he had enough compunction to feign being sad about what he did. “There was no other way out of that situation! Besides, I managed to have a good meal! I strengthened myself! Now I can be of more use to you and the kid. The risk was worth the reward.”

I sneered at him. Then I checked to make sure the enchantment I cast on his soul was still working the way it was supposed to. To my relief, it was. This guy was just an ass.

With a sigh, I pointed to the bathtub I’d filled with water. It even had a sprinkle of the spiritual spring water I had left. Too bad I didn’t have the time to wait for the space to reopen, so a mere sprinkle would have to do.

I took out a pink pearlescent pill from my ring and set it next to the necklace.

“I’m about to have my first body cultivation bath. I need you to watch my back. If I start dying and I’m not able to do it myself, then give me this... Hey! Don’t look at me like that. I know that after your ‘good meal’ you’re able to affect the living world significantly more.”

He grudgingly nodded. “It would be better for you to call on the kid to help you. At most I can make your pill go into your mouth. If something really goes wrong, I’m not sure I can take you out of the bath in time.”

“I won’t call on Little Spring. The last thing I want is him trying to stop me. You know he will. Besides, he has his own hell-training to go through.” I grinned while thinking of all the training tasks I put on his schedule. If he thought being stuck in the other courtyard was boring, then he was about to have no time to even become bored. Muahahahaha!

I took off my outer robes and shoes, then threw them into my ring.

The gold bath that came with the courtyard was a massive tub with a small earthen flame underneath that a proficient cultivator could control. It heated up like a massive pot. At the size I set the flame to — if I were a normal human — the water would definitely scorch my skin. Fortunately, I wasn’t normal.

I took out another pill that was the size of ten normal ones put together. Its swirly red and green surface practically pulsed with potential energy and vitality.

Well, it wasn’t exactly a pill. With a bit of spiritual pressure and a twist of my fingers, it became a fine powder that I sprinkled over the bath. After about two minutes, the steaming water bubbled unnaturally and glowed.

Now!

I jumped into the bath and sank below the surface until I was entirely covered. Then I practiced the ancient Turtle Breathing Technique. This was the basic technique for any cultivator trying to breathe underwater. It couldn’t last forever while I was at my current realm, but it was better than the alternative.

Most body cultivators did not cover themselves fully while taking these baths. This was because they’d prefer to breathe while in pain (or they didn’t know the Turtle Breathing Technique). But from what my experiments taught me, this was a minor mistake.

The entire body needed to be submerged to get the full effects. Otherwise, the head would always be just that little weaker than the rest of the body.

Tiny pinpricks covered my skin. The water became red with blood. Frankly, it hurt like a bitch. But it was within my tolerance.

I had no idea why those body cultivators complained to me all the time.

‘Senior Lin, please make your next batch hurt less. I almost died!’

Babies. They were supposed to be tough body cultivators! Almost wasn’t dead!

Frankly, I’d rather deal with a lot of pain now than be as weak as I was through most of my journey here. Not that I had the spirit stones earlier to pay for this series of baths. Not when I would have died if I didn’t increase my actual realm.

As I waited, I concentrated on breathing. The pain intensified. While it was strong, it wasn’t something that could break me. I was an Immortal Ascension expert of the Indomitable Will Sect. Pain couldn’t break me.

It still hurt like billion bee stings! Fuck. Even knowing that the bath concoction was essentially tearing apart each cell and rebuilding them up into a stronger form using the spiritual energy provided by the same bath, that only made things worse.

The pain scratched through each of my limbs inside and out. My young body had weakened. Even moving a finger in this situation felt torturous. My consciousness dimmed at the edges.

Shit! This stupid, weak child’s body couldn’t keep up. I sat up, grabbed the pill with my spiritual energy, and pulled it toward me. A bitter taste filled my mouth just before the world went black.