When Immortal Ascension Fails Time Travel to Try Again

Story 7 - To Kill Demonic Vines (2 ?)

After Little Spring and I finished our disturbing conversation, I had Unyielding escort me to the Indomitable Will sect’s majestic headquarters.

This was where my martial nephew worked most of the day.

I’d been helping to streamline their paperwork system in exchange for an amount each month that would make a Golden Core Cultivator cry with envy… one that had looked decent before Little Spring told me about those recipes.

Goddamn it.

Honestly, I think the whole reason Bloodsword married Radiant Tiger Lily, an Immortal Chef, was because he ended up finding that body cultivation method.

Out of all of his wives, Tiger Lily and I had the least amount of interaction... She kept to her kitchen and herd of students while I kept to my immortal cave. Unless she was the bitch who stole Verdant Bamboo’s spiritual rabbit and cooked it, ate it, then blamed it on me... Fuck. She was, wasn’t she?

If I ever saw her in this life, I’d be sure to ‌‌ruin a meal of hers in revenge. Muahahaha!

But aside from that, I understood why he married her. It would be easier to marry a talented chef than learn it himself… I almost didn’t despise this line of thinking. I mean, the thought of it was messed up, but also — fuck cooking.

Not that I’d actually hook up with a chef just to get them to create meals for me. Not when I could hire one… or raise my little brother.

Frankly, if my next tribulation wasn’t poised to finish the job the last one started, I wouldn’t even bother with this expensive body cultivation method. Unfortunately, I needed all the defensive capabilities I could find.

This included things like spiritual tools, formation flags, protective talismans, and body cultivation. Anything and everything I could get my hands on that could save my ass was something I would hoard, because my life literally depended on it.

I entered through the side building where most of the harried little cultivators who got stuck doing menial paperwork sat in lotus positions. They leaned over desks where piles of papers and stacks of jade slips kept them busy. One of them, Daoist Early Rise Swift Brush, who only ended up becoming a golden core in my last life, walked up to me, eyes excited. He handed me a jade slip.

“Senior Lin! Can you see if I’m practicing the Dao of Paperwork well?”

I pressed it to my temple, looked over the draft contents, and nodded.

This little cultivator was well on his way to becoming a paperwork master. “Impressive. It was almost as if I could physically touch the documents.”

He smiled happily. “That’s because I copied each one by hand several times to get it perfect before adding it to the jade slip.”

Okay. Maybe he was a little too into this Dao of Paperwork. If he kept at it, he might actually develop it into a real path to immortality instead of it being an off the cuff inside joke I’d made in my past life.

I cleared my throat. “How is the Sect Leader?”

“He’s in the main hall. It sounds like something serious is happening.”

I nodded.

Another young cultivator walked up to me and nervously held out a wooden box. “Ah, Senior Lin. Can you hand this over to the Sect Leader? It’s an object he asked us to deliver to him as soon as it arrived.”

These kids often sent me in there with deliveries.

I had a feeling they were testing my loyalty. Or my bravery. Or they were using the fact that I was Peerless Resolve’s Martial Aunt — someone he wouldn’t scold for interrupting a meeting — to avoid getting yelled at.

Chuckling, I grabbed the box, scanned it with divine sense to ensure that it wasn’t anything dangerous, and stored it inside my ring.

I’d been back at the sect for a few months, and the system I introduced was already allowing my friend to take more time out of his day to cultivate. I had hopes that this would lead to him breaking through to Immortal Ascension in a few hundred years.

Unfortunately, aside from the massive amount of paperwork the Sect Leader had to go through each day, there was also one of the more annoying things he had to deal with… meetings.

Meetings he couldn’t delegate because they were with respected cultivators who were so old that their concept of time was skewed. Granted, my concept of time was also skewed (especially after traveling to the past), but I at least tried to keep things concise.

Tried.

***

I entered the beautiful lotus-themed hall and walked down the massive room to where a group of solemn-faced cultivators stood.

I recognized a few of them as members of the information gathering and disseminating part of the sect, Seven Shadows Pavilion. There was also Three Eyes Sun Blade, the master of Majestic Sword Peak. Oh! Wasn’t that Peak Master Enduring Flame from the ‘excitingly’ named Alchemy Peak?

Enduring Flame was a man who reminded me of an older and slightly less obsessed version of Pill Otaku. One of the key differences was that, instead of having cauldrons everywhere, he had flames. On his robes. On his jade crown. Even the pendant on his belt was a flame... And some of them were actual real strange flames, showing just how hardcore his control of them was.

A majority of alchemy in this world used earthen flames, which was the slightly more magical version of the mundane ones in this world. A medicinal Qi cultivator could get away with only using these simple types until they reached late Golden Core or early Nascent Soul. However, if they wished to progress further down their path, they would need to find a strange flame that could let them produce more advanced pills. The higher in realm a medicinal Qi cultivator progressed, the more strange flames they would have to collect.

The fact that Peak Master Enduring Flame casually showed so many on his person was a visual representation of how impressive he was... it was still a bit ostentatious. But at this guy’s level, he could do what he wanted and nobody could say shit.

This also reminded me that I would eventually need to gather strange flames again, but that would come much later.

The Sect Leader glared at the young cultivators from Seven Shadows Pavilion. “So you’re saying that this ‘Demonic Vine Plague’ is wreaking havoc across a quarter of Heaven’s Wall Empire?”

Wait. Demonic Vine Plague?

I remembered hearing about that. But it was so long ago. What was it again?

“Well, it’s only affected five cities so far. It has already wiped two out. If they can’t get it under control, then it could prove a problem for the entire continent!”

“And they’re requesting that we send in as many alchemists as we can to research a cure?”

Wait a second.

This was something that hadn’t affected me in my last life because I was from a country far from Heaven’s Wall Empire. It was an epidemic that almost threatened the whole continent. One that alchemists could find a treatment for.

I fucking learned about this plague!

Back when that braindead wife of Bloodsword, Violet Pill Fairy, had first married Bloodsword, the bitch had constantly bragged about inventing a cure for the Demonic Vine Plague.

She would go on at length about how many spirit stones she’d made off of doing so. Then she repeatedly said a portion of her profits went toward helping those in need before once again bragging about how much money she made.

It was fucking infuriating.

But what angered me the most was that when this bitch saw a plague, the first thing she thought of was increasing her own wealth.

And how did she do it?

By patenting the recipe at the alchemist’s guild and requiring everyone to give her 80% of the profits.

That didn’t sound that bad, except that she set the price sky high. They sold at one hundred times the cost of the materials.

Then she had the gall to say that she’d use a portion of her profits to give them away to anyone who couldn’t afford her prescription. And that the reason she charged such a ridiculous price was so she could freely hand those pills to the ones who ‘truly needed it.’

It sounded great and really Robin-Hood of her. Except, how many people actually heard about her willingness to give away the medicine versus those who died from needing it?

I’d looked into it once. The numbers made me never fucking trust the bitch.

This plague was the perfect chance to earn some good karma and get a little revenge.

“Martial Nephew Peerless Resolve!” I called out with a grin.

My friend coughed and glanced over at me. “Little Aunt Lin, I’m in the middle of an urgent meeting.”

“And I wouldn’t interrupt if it wasn’t important.” I paused for emphasis and waited until I had everyone’s attention. “I know of a pill recipe that I can update to solve this plague.”

Peak Master Enduring Flame brightened. Honestly, he looked like he wanted to scour my brain for spare recipes. It was a look I was sadly getting used to.

The Sect Leader perked up. “Is this a cure Immortal Zhenren told you about?”

“It’s medicine I also worked on,” I lied happily. Take that, Violet. I was going to steal your credit. Muahahaha! “But since I haven’t seen the plague, I’ll have to go there in person to double check. I won’t disseminate a remedy until I’m positive it works.”

At one point in my past life, I’d just lost another alchemy tournament to Violet. Then I heard her once again brag about that cure. Wanting to see if the bitch has really accomplished what she’d said, I checked at the Alchemists’ Guild to see if it was true. And if I had discovered that it wasn’t, I would have shoved it in her face so hard.

Unfortunately, she had told the truth. The bitch had created a treatment... one that had to be repeatedly taken until no signs of the plague returned. Considering that it took two months to completely remove the disease, it wasn’t super effective; however, it did work, and that was the important part.

However, I couldn’t just patent the medication and wash my hands of this situation. I was a goddamn grandmaster alchemist. Like fuck would I consider taking that bitch’s early work and representing it as my own without ensuring its quality myself. I had motherfucking standards.

“Little Lin,” my friend frowned, “I wanted to keep you in the sect longer.”

“And I wanted to stay longer, but they’ll need my help.”

Ending the fucking plague... and stopping that bitch from earning money off it was more important to me than staying in the sect just so I could slowly collect items in the sect for my tribulation.

And I definitely wasn’t going on this mission because I was trying to put off my terrifyingly strong tribulation that could easily convert my new body into dust.

Not when I needed to get stronger.

::If you successfully stop this plague, then what would you like the sect to compensate you with?::

::I have a list of ingredients here that should be simple for the sect to collect. However, the one that I absolutely need your help with is 55 Yellow Emperor’s Sweet Revitalizing Kiwis.::

He coughed, but his face stayed in its near facial paralysis-like state. ::What do you require 55 of those for?::

Well, if I passed this tribulation, I’d have to immediately ‌start preparations for the next one — and body cultivation was now part of it. I mean, even an idiot could see that if this tribulation was beyond difficult, the next would get even harder. Only fools or super lucky main characters didn’t plan their development a hundred steps in advance. Muahahaha!

::I need it for a body cultivation technique!::

::It must be a very impressive body cultivation technique if it requires so many Revitalizing Kiwi.::

Frankly, if the meals did what it sounded like they could do, then I had to at least try it. Worse case scenario, I’d keep using the body cultivation method I’d been using.

What was that method called anyway? Since I created the baths and my friend had developed the exercises and techniques to go with it, I don’t think either one of us actually named the thing.

::But why are you practicing body cultivation? I thought you were focused on Qi Cultivation and the Way of the Sword like your master?::

Well, I couldn’t tell him about my crazy tribulation or he’d suspect me so I had to tell him a partial truth. At least for now. ::Immortal Zhenren’s enemies are mine as well. Body cultivation should help me increase my chances of survival when they eventually come after me.::

My friend paused before continuing,::If they ever do attack you, this sect will have your back.::

The fact that he wasn’t just saying that was one of the reasons I liked this sect. It might be filled with weirdos and people who liked to fight each other on multiple levels, but they always had each other's backs against enemies from without.

::If you’re able to completely solve this plague, the sect will get you your 55 Kiwis.::

Ah. ::Well, since you’re going to ask the Seven Shadows Pavilion to search for those, can you also have them search for a living Golden Feathered Fire Lizard of at least 500 years?::

::Little Aunt Lin. You should be capable of making a request like that at the various job seeking pavilions throughout the sect.::

::I mean, I could do that, but then someone would know it was my inquiry. The leader of the demonic cultivators is still out there.::

::You’ve made your point. I’ll make the request for you.::

I grinned.

He spoke aloud so the others in the room could hear him. “Are you willing to go with one of the alchemist teams we’re sending to help with the plague?”

“Of course! But first, can you tell me what places it’s spread to so far?”

Three Eyes Sun Blade, who had been quiet this whole time, finally responded, “It’s ravaged two small cities in the southern area of Heaven’s Wall Empire. From there, it spread to three other nearby cities.”

If I remembered correctly, Violet Pill Fairy had mentioned that, before she discovered the cure, it had taken over all corners of the Heaven’s Wall Empire. This meant that there was still time before she developed her pill recipe successfully.

“This plague is very strange,” The Sword Saint continued. “While there has been no evidence that demonic cultivators are involved, my peak is still going to provide the alchemists’ teams with protection during their stay in the various cities.”

“And my alchemists, thank you for that,“ Peak Master Enduring Flame said. Then he turned to me. “Now, let’s discuss what ingredients we’ll need to send with you. I have a few in mind that will be good to have on hand in case of an emergency.”

I grinned. “That is exactly what I wanted to speak with you about.” It was nice to be on the same page as someone.